


Ruins In Bloom

by miikasaa



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, Gen, Post-War, Slice of Life, smut&fluff&angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 20:32:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7860127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miikasaa/pseuds/miikasaa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three years after the eradication of the Titans, Eren, Mikasa, Armin, and a few other survivors are ready to settle down in the free world. Finished with their travels and free from the oppression of the Titans, they're ready to begin their new lives. However, as each of the veterans knows, somethings are impossible to bury completely in the past. Scars will never completely heal, and sometimes, leaving behind a lifetime of warfare is unattainable.</p><p>Mikasa wishes for the domestic life she's always craved, and with Armin and Eren by her side, she thinks she'll finally get it. But the sudden change proves to be too much for Eren, and to her horror, he leaves. He leaves her behind, leaves everyone behind, and leaves her to deal with a change in her life she never wanted to experience on her own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ruins In Bloom

**Author's Note:**

> Well. I have a lot to say before we get down to this. If you've known me at all for the past few years, you might know that I wrote this almost 2 years ago now, but that it sat on my computer forever. I was hit with the inspiration of a post-titan fic, where a baby is involved, and it got very long very quickly lmao. It's also completely unedited, and that's because by the time I started editing it, I was writing new things and falling out of the snk fandom. As you probably know, I'm completely out of the fandom by now, but it doesn't sit right with me that I never published this.
> 
> So, I apologize that every fic I've started will be abandoned now, and I apologize that I promised updates or drabbles only to be unable to deliver. However, I hope you do like this one! And please excuse the errors and awkward prose, since this was written before my writing started to improve and change about a year and a half ago.
> 
> But please! Enjoy this. You'll find complete eremika fluff, some domestic jean/armin, lots of sasha, and mikasa struggling to come to terms with a pregnancy in the new world.
> 
> And if you want, you can come to my tumblr, (kimvtae.tumblr.com) to talk about this fic!! I did spend a very long time on this, so I would appreciate a little bit of feedback. Enjoy it!!

“Hey, Mikasa! What do you think?” Eren’s voice echoed from somewhere behind the small cabin, accompanied by the clanging of multiple tools being dropped and a shout from Jean.

Mikasa chuckled, shaking her head as she crawled to the edge of the roof and hanging her head down. Eren stood in the doorway to the house, grinning wildly and pushing his sweat-slicked hair away from his face.

“I can’t see what you’re referring to,” Mikasa called down, unable to hold back her own smile.

Eren only rolled his eyes, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “That’s because you’re on the roof,” he taunted. “I mean the house. Come on down. Jean says it was done weeks ago, but Armin and I think it’s done, and _perfect_ ,” he glared back towards Jean, “now.”

She glanced over to Armin and Jean, who stood together on the porch, leaning against the railing. Jean sighed, gesturing vaguely towards the house. “All I’m saying is the last two weeks could have been spent building,” he pointed between Armin and himself, “our place, not finishing your kitchen.”

“It needed the work!”

“Sure, Jaeger.”

Mikasa laughed, pulling herself back onto the roof and missing Eren’s next comment, “Eren, I’ll be down in a second. I just need to finish the roof.” She missed his answer as she shuffled back to the middle of the roof, examining the last few planks that would finish off the cabin. She held one level against another, taking the hammer to secure it. Mikasa worked quickly, eager to be back on the ground with her friends and finally be finished with their new home.

Once she hammered in the last plank, Mikasa sat back on her knees, staring out towards the ocean in front of her. The sun faded behind the water, casting a homely glow onto the sand and forest behind her. She still couldn’t believe it had been three years since the final battle against the Titans, three years since their military responsibilities had ended and they could finally escape to the outside world, finally see the ocean, the fields of fire, the icecaps, and every other childhood place they’d dreamed of.

And after three years of exploring with Armin, Eren, and a few other survivors, they returned to the ocean to build their new homes from scraps of abandoned houses, to settle down without the constant fear of attacks or losing loved ones, to finally live for themselves, together.

Mikasa absentmindedly ran her thumb over the cloth at her hips where a long, angry scar marked her skin from a Titan dropping her against rocks during the last battle. The scar that reminded her of those who were lost, so many friends and comrades, who were killed at the hands of their enemies while she escaped with minimal internal damage and a broken wrist. No one had come out unscathed.

“Mikasa,” Eren whined from the ground below.

She shook her head, picking up her discarded tools and sliding to the edge of the roof again. She quickly slid down the ladder as Eren held it steady, tossing the tools onto Eren’s discarded pile once she hit the ground.

Eren immediately moved the ladder away from the house, laying it down in front of the porch while Mikasa stared at her new home. With the help of Armin and Jean, she and Eren had built the place with scraps on the beach and materials from inside the walls, ending with a home slightly bigger than the one she’d shared with her parents. An extra bedroom, a kitchen and dining room; a living space she could already imagine her children running rampant through. It was perfect.

Eren seemed to agree. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, interlocking their fingers and, after planting a loud kiss against her hair, pointed towards the house with their hands, where an old wooden chair sat by the door. “It’s done, Mikasa. Our home’s done.”

“I know,” Mikasa whispered, resting her head against his collarbone.

For so long she dreamed of a home with Eren, of a place they could live without any threat to their safety or future, and now it was a reality. Except, of course, that Armin and Jean would be staying with them until their house was built. Mikasa didn’t mind at all, but she definitely couldn’t wait for unrestricted privacy.

Eren nestled his chin onto the top of her head, dropping their hands and turning to face her. “We get to live here. Just you and me, together.” He dipped his head towards hers. “Just like I promised,” Eren murmured, brushing his lips against her cheek.

“Forever,” Mikasa agreed, pushing the sight of a gory battlefield from her mind and turning her head to catch his lips. She barely felt the contact before Jean made a noise of discontent behind them, making Eren frown against her mouth.

“Problem, Jean?” He asked, stepping back from her but holding tight to her hand.

Jean shook his head, pushing off from the railing of the porch, the fading light of the day playing against his sandy hair. “Only that I don’t have a house. And I have to watch my friends slobber on each other.”

“Be thankful you have a place to stay,” Eren retorted as Jean disappeared into the house with a wave of his hand, but the brunette was laughing.

Armin dropped down from the porch, taking Mikasa’s free hand in his own. He glanced back over his shoulder, looking at the view Mikasa didn’t think any of them would get used to. “I still can’t believe it.” He whispered.

Mikasa squeezed his hand, leaning her head against his shoulder. “Me neither.” Eren suddenly pulled on her arm, closing the distances between all of them as he engulfed them in a hug. “We did it, guys,” Eren murmured against her hair.

“You said that three years ago, Eren,” Armin laughed.

“Yeah, well it’s still true, asshole.”

Mikasa smiled, burying her head between the two boy’s bodies. “Come on.” She said after a few more minutes. “We should head inside.” She pulled away, taking Armin’s hand again to lead them into the freshly built home. Jean was standing in the kitchen, already in his sleep clothes.

He turned at the sound of the door swinging shut, looking once around the house before saying, “We’ll have to head back to the walls for some supplies.” He said, shrugging lightly. “You guy’s will need dishes, furniture, sheets, the works.”

Eren nodded, dropping Mikasa’s hand to rummage through a few boxes in the living room, producing three blankets that would serve as their bed things for the night. “We can go in the morning,” he suggested, tossing one blanket to each Armin and Jean.

Mikasa pushed aside the boxes; they really didn’t have a lot, to make room for them to sleep. Once she put out the candles and lamps around the house, she lay down next to Eren on the floor, tossing the scratchy blanket over her shoulders even as he sat up.

She could hear Armin and Jean settling on the other side of the room, gravitating towards each other until the shuffling stopped and Armin’s head rested on Jean’s arm.

Mikasa frowned when Eren didn’t move or shift to lie down with her. “Go to sleep,” Mikasa groaned, rolling over to prop her head on his lap. He only threaded his fingers through her hair, stroking a path from the crown of her head to her shoulder. She let out a hum of contentment, throwing an arm over his legs.

The sound of creaking wood roused Mikasa from a sleep she couldn’t remember falling into. Sitting up hastily, she registered the absence of a body next to her and the unnatural warmth that body possessed. She rubbed at her eyes, glancing around the room to see Eren disappearing through the back door, closing it quietly behind him.

Mikasa frowned and stood, wrapping the thin blanket around her shoulders and taking care not to wake Armin or Jean as she crept through the house.

“Eren?” She murmured, glancing around the deck. Mikasa spotted him on the roof, facing the water with an arm thrown over his knee. Frowning, Mikasa stepped onto the railing of the deck, tossed her blanket onto the roof and hoisted herself up. She draped the blanket over Eren’s shoulder, situating herself next to him. He didn’t startle. “What’s wrong?”

Eren smiled sadly, resting his head against her own, gaze still trained on the moon-drenched beach. “You don’t have to assume something’s always wrong anymore.”

Mikasa paused, biting her lip as Eren swallowed noiselessly, turning to catch her eyes. He looked exhausted, eyes sunken and lips turned down. “Have you slept at all?”

“No,” Eren sighed, closing his eyes. Mikasa trailed her hand down his cheek, cupping the flesh and rubbing circles under his eye until he looked at her again. “This came earlier today, before we finished on the house.” He pulled a letter from under his ankle, tossing it lightly in front of them.

She reached for it, turning it over only to see there was no signature or way to check whom it was from without opening it.

Eren nodded towards it. “Moblit dropped it off. It’s from Hanji.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.” He paused, glancing between her and the letter with an unreadable expression. “It just says they want to do a few experiments now that we’re not off traveling anymore, check to see if I can still transform and all.”

“Are you okay with that?” Mikasa asked, shifting her legs beneath her.

“Yeah,” Eren repeated, shrugging lightly. “Hanji asked that I return to the walls as soon as possible.”

“I’ll go with you.”

He groaned, but the gesture was half-hearted. “Mikasa, you don’t have to protect me anymore.”

She tried a different approach. “Then Armin and Jean can come, as well. Sasha too. We’ll get the supplies we need to furnish the house and begin building the others. You can talk to Hanji,” Mikasa reached between them, threading their fingers, “and we’ll pick up what we need. Sound like a plan?”

Eren didn’t answer for a moment before shaking his head and forcing a smile onto his lips. “Okay.”

“Eren.”

He raised an eyebrow; resting his own free hand over the one she still cupped his cheek with. “Hm?”

Mikasa worried her bottom lip silently. “Are you…?” Trailing off, she looked back towards the ocean, the question that had been on her mind since they decided to quit traveling begging to be revealed. Eren squeezed her hand gently. “Are you happy here?”

“What brought this on?”

She sighed, frowning as Eren let go of her hand to hook a finger under her chin, tilting her face back towards his. He looked tired and confused, and maybe a little hurt, when she lifted her eyes again. “Well, traveling was your dream for so long. I just thought that maybe you weren’t quite done with it.” She looked away. “Maybe that I forced you to stop.”

“Mikasa,” Eren chuckled, rolling his eyes. “If I wasn’t done exploring, we’d still be at the mountains right now, not nestled so close to a forest.”

“You and Armin-”

“Absolutely loved traveling with you,” he interrupted, brushing his lips softly against her nose. “And maybe we’ll do that again someday, but I love you, Mikasa, and I know that a home and a family is what you’ve wanted for forever. And it’s what I’ve wanted, too.” Cupping her face in his hands, Eren moved to crouch right in front of her. “I love you, and I want to be here with you. With Armin, Jean, Sasha and everyone else, living right next to the ocean.”

“Yeah?” Mikasa whispered.

“Yeah.”

“I love you too, Eren.” He kissed her then, with the ocean roaring behind them and the stars as the witnesses to their first night in their new home, he moved his mouth against hers. Mikasa grinned, throwing her arms around his shoulders to pull him closer. She tangled her fingers into his hair as Eren trailed his lips across her cheeks, the line of her jaw, and her collarbone, adjusting himself to continue down until he lost his footing on the slant of the roof, falling harshly against her.

Mikasa laughed, tugging Eren away from her chest to kiss his own nose. He grumbled something, but happily returned her kiss. “Not on the roof, Eren.”

“It’s better than a tent,” Eren reasoned, but she shook her head. “Oh come on! We won’t have any privacy until Armin and Jean’s place is built.”

She wiggled out from underneath him, ignoring his muffled groan against her shoulder as she stood, dusting off the legs of her pants. “Then we better build it quickly.”

Eren took folded the blanket over his arm, taking her outstretched hand and finally standing. He looked even taller from her lower position on the roof. They started back to the deck, leaving the letter behind as the two of them swiftly dropped from the roof.

“We’ll leave first thing in the morning,” Mikasa whispered, holding the door open for Eren. “The horses are still tied up a little ways into the forest.”

Eren snorted loudly as he dropped onto the cool wood of the floor. “There’s a horse right here.” He knocked his head back to their sleeping friends, who hadn’t moved during the night except that now Armin’s feet were propped up on Jean’s chest.

“Eren,” Mikasa said sternly, but she was smiling. “That joke wasn’t funny when we were twelve, and it still isn’t funny now.”

He tossed the blanket over their shoulders, curving an arm around her and pulling her close. She ducked her head against his chest, deciding once again that his embrace was her favorite place to be. Eren touched his mouth to her temple, murmuring against her hairline, “it is too, funny,” as she hooked her leg over his hip, warm and content at the start of the rest of her life.

* * *

The marketplace inside Wall Sina looked exactly the same as the last time Mikasa visited, except now she wasn’t hiding from the law with Levi and the squad. And now there were far fewer people, as those who wished to leave the walls had already done so. Getting everyone out into the world would take some time, Mikasa supposed.

Jean quickly finished tying up the horses to a post, feeding each a carrot before jogging to catch up to her, Sasha, and Armin. “What time is Eren finished?”

“I don’t know,” Mikasa answered, fingering at a few blankets. “The Commander didn’t give a time frame for the meeting.”

Armin hooked his finger through the handle of a bag of vegetables. “He said he’d meet us back here.”

Eren had split from the group once they arrived at the innermost wall, heading in the opposite direction to the Castle, where Hanji lived with a few other high-ranking military officials and the Queen. Mikasa still didn’t like that he had gone alone, but Armin assured her at the marketplace that there was no reason for her to be worried. The Titans were gone, and there had been no threats against Eren since the end of the war. He would be fine.

“Hey Jean!” Sasha tossed a large wicker basket at the man, laughing while he cursed and tried to steady himself, somehow managing not to drop anything inside. “Got some plates and stuff, can you carry them for me?”

“Why can’t you do it?”

Sasha’s smile dropped, and she rolled her eyes as she whacked Jean’s shoulder with her sleeve. “I’m missing an arm,” she deadpanned.

Jean cleared his throat; glancing down towards her and then away from her left shoulder, pink flushing his features. “Right, sorry.” She waved off his apology, choosing instead to loop her arm through his free one.

They passed food stands and carts full of bright, ripe fruits, men and women shouting about their qualities and prices and how they had the best china in all of Sina for such little money.

Mikasa paused at a stand piled high with thick woolen blankets and thinner bed sheets, digging through until she had quite the collection. The vendor jumped when he stood back up to see her there, a large pile resting on the edge of the stand.

“How much for these?” Mikasa asked, seeing Armin pause the group to wait for her.

“For you?” The man grinned, tossing an extra blanket onto her pile. “Nothing.”

She frowned, shaking her head and holding out a few bills. “I can’t take them for free.”

He gently folded her hand over the money. “You helped save our future. The least I can do is offer a few blankets.”

Mikasa blinked, trying to uncurl her hand but the man didn’t let her. Since she had left the walls so quickly with Eren and Armin after the war ended, she didn’t get the “Hero’s Treatment” Sasha described to her later on. She wasn’t sure how she felt about it, but an encouraging nod from Armin had her doing the same to the vendor.

“Thank you,” Mikasa murmured, not exactly trusting her voice.

He shook his head again; dark curls bouncing against his forehead. “No, Miss. Ackerman, thank you. My daughter is so excited to live outside the walls, and because of your achievements, we can do exactly that.”

“Daddy! Momma says it’s time for dinner.” A young girl rounded the corner of the street, expertly avoiding running into the legs of the stand as she stopped right next to Mikasa, beaming up at her father with a gap-toothed smile, her dark braid swinging behind her.

The man stepped away from the stand, kneeling down next to the girl. “Honey, remember what you told me? About wanting to explore the world because that’s what the heroes wanted?” She nodded excitedly. Mikasa felt something pull in her chest. “Look here.” He gently turned her around by her shoulders, standing up behind her.

Her expression bloomed into one of the happiest faces Mikasa thought she had ever seen, her lips curving back as she lunged, latching her arms around Mikasa’s legs, pressing her face into the woman’s abdomen. “It’s you.” She whispered.

Mikasa stood frozen, glancing between the man and his daughter’s head, unsure of what to do until she felt a familiar hand on her shoulder. She turned as Armin smiled at her. Nodding, Mikasa dropped to her knees in front of the girl, taking her smaller hands in her own.

“Thank you,” the girl whispered, little tears prickling the corner of her eyes.

Mikasa tugged lightly on the end of her braid. “You’re welcome.” She breathed, lips pulling back. “You’re dad here tells me you’re excited to live outside the walls?” She nodded again, grinning widely. “Well…”

“Aiko.”

“Well, Aiko, I’m excited for you to do just that. The outside world is absolutely breathtaking, and experiencing it with those you love is amazing.” Mikasa touched her finger to the little girl’s nose. “Promise me you’ll live well and always listen to your parents.”

Aiko leaned forward, wrapping her small arms around Mikasa’s shoulders and breathing into her ear, “I promise.”

Mikasa smiled and stood up to see that Aiko’s father had already closed up his stand for the night and stood watching his daughter with a grin, Mikasa’s blankets piled in his arms. She took her father’s free hand as Mikasa fell into a familiar salute, nodding her head at them. Aiko attempted it as well, and she thought her heart might melt.

The man passed her the blankets, whispering another _thank you_ to her before taking off with his daughter, who skipped all the way down the street.

She almost jumped when Jean wrapped an arm around her shoulders, squeezing her lightly as they stared down the street. Armin took the blankets from her, placing them into his basket of fruits as Sasha stood at Jean’s side, holding her own basket in the crook of her elbow. “You okay?”

She nodded. “We did this,” Mikasa breathed, glancing at her companions.

Armin took her hand, smiling brightly. The scar cutting through his lips was barely noticeable now. “We did,” he agreed. “Everyone in here, if they want, they can leave and make a new life for themselves outside. Everyone is free.” And after three years, the walls were significantly less populated as even those who were wary of Eren’s power and Historia’s role took to the free world. “It’s getting dark,” Armin spoke slowly, hoisting his basket back up. “And I’m sure Eren’s done speaking with Hanji now.”

Sasha tugged on Jean’s arm. “Hey, Jean-”

“I’ll buy you a damn sweet roll.”

“Yes!” She tugged him along behind her as they tore back the way they came.

Armin didn’t let go of her hand as they started back to the horses, shaking his head when she told him to let her carry her blankets. The townspeople were quickly closing up their shops for the night, dropping signs and carrying valuable merchandise back with them.

Jean was loading Sasha’s horse with her supplies by the time Armin and Mikasa caught up with them. Mikasa took her blankets and secured them to the pouch at her horses’ side, running her fingers through the thick mane at her neck. The horse whined happily, nudging her nose into Mikasa’s free hand.

“Okay,” Jean grunted, tying off the last strap of his horse. “Everything’s set.”

She mounted her horse, taking the reins from Jean after he untied the animal from the post. She looked up just as another rider came to a stop close to the group, their horse complaining at the sudden lack of speed. Mikasa recognized the voice immediately as he laughed and happily pet the animal.

“Eren.” Her horse trotted happily over, nuzzling the face of Eren’s horse.

“Hey,” Eren grinned, leaning over the gap to brush short strands of hair away from her face. “Sorry it took so long. Hanji had a lot more questions than I thought they would.”

“I’m not surprised,” Armin said, clapping his friend on the shoulder. “Does Hanji want you to go back again?”

Eren shrugged. “They did some tests to confirm that I couldn’t transform, said something about there being no Titans left having a part in it, but that I could come back for Hanji to monitor me because I still have the Titan blood in me.”

“Yeah,” Jean snorted, urging his horse a bit faster. “That’s cause your dad fucking injected it in you.”

“Woah shit, really?” Eren called after Jean, spurring on his own horse, and before Mikasa could tell them they were being childish, a full-on race back to the ocean had begun. Sasha flashed past her, quickly catching up and pulling in front of the men.

“Unbelievable,” Mikasa groaned with a laugh.

Armin kept pace with her easily, his own horse’s blonde mane brushing against his thighs. “At least a horse race is better than fist fights.”

By the time they returned to the beach, Eren and Jean were unloading the supplies from the horses while Sasha lounged on the porch, digging into her snack. Mikasa dismounted from her horse, hoisting the blankets over her shoulder and handing the reins to Armin.

She tossed them into the corner of the bedroom, pausing on her way out when she noticed the new mattress and bedframe in the middle of the room.

“I talked a couple of merchants into carrying them back here for us.”

Mikasa nearly jumped, whirling on her heel to face Eren leaning against the doorframe, his hands shoved into his pockets. She relaxed instantly, stepping over to him, nudging his hand from his pocket to link their fingers together. “It’s perfect.”

Eren smiled, leaning down to plant a kiss to her temple. For a moment, they were silent, both staring at their new bed and their new room. Mikasa leaned back against his side, glancing to the window, a beachfront view, Eren had insisted; as he rested his forehead on her own head, his last growth spurt of his teenage years giving him an advantage.

“Eren?” He hummed against her hair. “Are you alright? You seem distant since meeting with Hanji.”

“Yeah,” Eren sighed, heavily. “Yeah I’m okay. It’s just, for so long I shifted into that Titan, and I guess a part of me always thought I’d be able to do that forever.” He paused, and Mikasa could picture his expression as he struggled for what to say next. “It’s like a part of me is missing, I guess. I’m gonna miss that monster.”

“You were never a monster,” Mikasa snapped, frowning.

“I’ve killed a lot of people, Mik.” He said quietly, breath tickling the back of her neck. “We’ve killed a lot of people.” She had no counter for that.

She tucked her head back against his chest, looking up and catching his eyes just as he opened them. “What you did as a Titan-”

“I know,” Eren whispered, resting his forehead against hers. “I know.”

Mikasa had spent years with Armin and the others convincing Eren that, no matter what he’d done or how many times he shifted into a Titan, he wasn’t a monster. It was difficult to do when all of humanity screamed the opposite at him after missions, but she never quit trying.

She kissed him slowly, squeezing his hand when he sighed and pulled away. “I’m gonna go back to the walls tomorrow and talk to Hanji again.”

“Okay,” Mikasa stepped out of their embrace, not quite able to shake the heavy feeling in her chest. “Do you want any of us to come with you?”

Eren shook his head, a small, half-hearted smiled tugging at his features. “Nah. Plus, I’m pretty sure Jean will kill me if I prolong the construction of his place.”

“Okay.” She repeated, cupping his cheeks.

“Eren, Mikasa? Are you guys-oh. Am I interrupting?” Armin poked his head through the threshold, smile falling slowly.

Eren took her hands from his face, linking their fingers again. “No.” He grumbled, discreetly wiping at an eye. “What’s up?”

“Sasha’s got the fire started and she’s roasting some deer for dinner.” Armin replied as the trio made their way to the front of the house.

Eren looked skeptic. “How’d she manage to catch a deer?”

Armin laughed, shrugging heartily. “She says it was with her bare hand, but I think her snares tell a different story.”

Mikasa sat quietly between Armin and Sasha around the fire, tucking her legs beneath her and accepting her portion with a small smile. Sasha was trying to convince Jean that she did, in fact, shoot the deer and drag it back to the beach with one hand, while Eren came to her defense despite not being there, grinning and laughing and gesturing wildly, but Mikasa couldn’t get the sight of the anguish in his eyes from her mind.

* * *

The construction of the last couple houses went smoothly, if not a little slower than expected because of Eren’s visits back to the walls. He went every few days, and when he came back he was always as distant as the first day until someone snapped him out of it, and it was as if he was never upset.

She heard Armin’s voice echo back through the newly built house, “I think it’s done.”

“I don’t know, man I think the kitchen-”

“Eren!” Jean snapped, shoving him out the front door. “You are not prancing around the kitchen for another two weeks.”

“Alright, alright.” Eren complained, rubbing at the back of his neck.

Armin stepped out between them, joining Mikasa and Sasha at the chairs on the porch. “What do you think?”

Mikasa ducked her head, glancing between Jean and Eren to look back into the house. It looked similar to the one she shared with Eren, but the differences were noticeable. “Looks good.” Eren dropped down to sit in front of her as Jean took the remaining chair, propping his feet into Armin’s lap.

“I’ve been thinking,” Sasha announced after a moment. “I found this grove in the forest-”

“Where have you been staying?” Eren blurted, cutting her off.

Sasha frowned, her eyebrows furrowing. “What do you mean?”

He pointed behind them, where Sasha’s slightly smaller, just finished two days ago, house. “You weren’t with Mikasa and I. So where were you?”

“In the forest,” she shrugged, oblivious to the looks her friends were giving her. “What? It’s not like it was raining-”

“We’ve been here for a month!”

“Anyway.” She turned to fully face Mikasa, crossing her legs on the chair. “I found a grove only a little ways into the forest, and I think it would be perfect to, well to… bury, so to speak, everyone. I know we don’t have the bodies, but we could carve headstones and leave flowers and it-”

Mikasa smiled fondly, taking Sasha’s hand in her own. “It sounds perfect.”

“There should be enough light left to start today,” Armin said, glancing back to the forest. “If you want.”

Sasha led them through the forest, deviating from the path and winding through the trees until they got to the grove, a small circle of open land surrounded by the trees. She was right, it wasn’t too far, and there were plenty of stones around to mark the lives lost in battle.

“I can pick up a few tools on my way back from Hanji’s tomorrow.” Eren said off-handedly as they ventured back to the beach, the path a lot harder to follow in the dark.

“You’re the best!” Sasha cried happily, jumping onto Eren’s back, locking her arm and legs around him. He only laughed, hoisting her higher as she called out directions.

Mikasa frowned, biting at her lip worriedly. “Armin,” she murmured, bumping her hip against his while they walked, Jean too far ahead to hear her. He glanced down at her, nodding. “Are you worried? About Eren.”

“What do you mean?” He paused; Mikasa could practically see him thinking. “You mean with him visiting Hanji so often?” She nodded. “No, I’m not particularly worried. He told you about what they’ve been discussing, right?”

“Barely,” Mikasa said, sounding bitter despite her best attempts.

Armin shrugged, reaching over to take her hand. “Losing his Titan ability is really hard on him, I suppose. He spent a really long time coming to terms with what he was and what he could do, and Hanji’s helping him overcome that.”

“Why doesn’t he talk to us, then?”

“Sometimes the people closest to you get blinded by their feelings,” Armin said slowly. The houses came back into view, the dark waves lazily lapping at the sand and leaving foamy remains until the cycle started again. “And can’t offer exactly what you need.”

Mikasa sighed. She knew Armin was right. Hanji probably offered a much more critical analysis of Eren’s situation that she could. If it were Mikasa he was talking to about losing his shifting everyday, she’d tell him over and over again that he could never be a monster, that losing his Titan form didn’t mean he lost himself; but that might not be what he needed.

She shouldn’t be worried, anyway. Hanji was one of the smartest people she knew. If anyone could help Eren out of his slump, it was the Commander.

“Thanks, Armin,” she murmured, and he squeezed her hand before they parted to their respective houses.

Mikasa watched as Eren jogged back from Sasha’s, struggling a bit on the sand but eventually reaching their front steps and jumping them as if he were a child again. She took his hand as he led her inside, all but dragging her back towards their room.

“You know,” Eren said, throwing her a grin over his shoulder. He paused, turning in the hall to drop her hand and take her waist, pulling her flush against him. “Armin and Jean aren’t here anymore.”

She feigned surprise. “Oh?”

“Yeah.” He murmured, kissing from the base of her neck to the back of her ear. Her hands fisted in the fabric at his back, a shiver ripping through her body. Eren pulled back to face her with the smile she loved so much and Mikasa could feel her cheeks heat up. “And you know what that means?”

Armin was right. Eren was going to be okay, and she was okay, and they’d live together like she’d always dreamed, with Armin, Jean, and Sasha right behind them. She really had no reason to worry.

Mikasa ran her hands up his back, cupping his neck gently. “Enlighten me.” She pulled him down to her, but he kept his lips a breath away from hers.

“I plan to,” he whispered; grin shifting before he tugged her back to their room.

* * *

Mikasa leaned against a tree in the grove, arms linked behind her back as she watched Sasha explain something to Jean and Armin, her arm and shirtsleeve waving excitedly in the air. They were waiting for Eren, again, since he’d gone to the walls that morning and was due back any minute for their impromptu funeral.

It had been almost a month, and although Mikasa was still worried and a little exasperated, she trusted what Armin had said.

Eren finally burst through the clearing, wiping his hands on his pants before holding them up in front of him. “Sorry, sorry. Hanji and I did a couple experiments today and they went a bit longer than expected.”

The others only shrugged. “It’s okay,” Sasha said, and they all turned to face the makeshift tombstones, rocks of all different sizes dispersed around the clearing; the names etched into them glinting softly in the evening light.

Mikasa stepped forward, taking Eren and Armin’s hands in her own. She watched Jean take Armin’s other hand, reaching out for Sasha’s, and together they stared at the graves. One for her parents, one for Eren’s, one for Armin’s parents and his grandfather, one for Sasha’s mother, and everyone else they had lost.

_Connie Springer_

_Levi Ackerman  
Erwin Smith_

_Marco Bodt_

_Mike Zacharius_

There were others, they knew, but for now it seemed like enough.

Eren was silent while they all stood, but that wasn’t as alarming as his silence during the trek back to the beach. Usually, once Sasha started talking again, Eren and Jean would join in, but this time Eren stayed somber at her side, fingers still linked together.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Mikasa whispered; her brow furrowed as she squeezed his hand.

He jumped slightly before nodding, forcing out a laugh that sounded much too unnatural. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” He didn’t say anything else until they reached the house, holding the door for her and frowning on their way to the bedroom. “I’m not going to the walls tomorrow.”

“No?” Mikasa asked, stripping her clothes from the day. “Why not?”

Eren only shrugged, following suit. “Just thought I’d clean some stuff with Jean instead. You should go hunting with Sasha.” He all but jumped into the bed, leaning over to wrap an arm around Mikasa’s waist, pulling her down with him. She laughed, and his goofy grin made it hard to believe he’d been so somber earlier. He sighed against the skin of her shoulder, tracing his lips across her neck and collarbone.

Mikasa tightened her grip around his neck as she pulled him closer, hooking a leg around his waist. “Eren-” She gasped, arching slightly when his teeth dug into the flesh behind her ear; she felt him smirk against her.

He rolled his hips against hers, Mikasa crying out as one of his hands trailed down her body, pausing to cup her breasts, splay across her abdomen, and eventually press harshly against her core, his lips slowly following the same tantalizing path. Mikasa ground her hips up against him, digging her nails deeper into his skin.

Eren kissed the inside of her thighs, nipping harshly at the skin before running his tongue over the bruises, blowing gently and making Mikasa squirm beneath his hands.

“ _Eren_ - _”_

He chuckled, gripping tightly to her thighs to pull her closer and then his mouth was on her, licking and suckling against her in a way that had her crying out, a hand flying to grip his hair, another to grasp the sheets by her head as he laughed against her again. He ran his hand down her stomach, rubbing tiny circles against her hips as he built her up, her thighs clenching and a long, drawn out moan escaping her as he coaxed her through her high, lazily kissing back up her body.

He kissed her forehead gently. “Good?”

“Yeah,” Mikasa gasped, clutching the back of his neck, anchoring him against her.

Running his fingers lazily over her side, Eren cocked an eyebrow at her high-pitched whine, a smirk spreading his features as he curled two fingers into her, cutting off her subsequent moan with a heavy kiss, tongue expertly exploring her mouth.

Mikasa could taste herself on his lips, her hips bucking against his hand as Eren grinned and bit at her collarbone.

“Someone’s feeling,” Eren slowed his hand, keeping her at bay as she choked back a groan. “Energetic.”

She tore her hands from his hair, pushing at Eren’s shoulder until he landed beside her with a huff. She straddled his waist, slowly running her nails across the planes of his abdomen, watching as his muscles constricted and eyes flew shut. She traced her tongue along his collarbone, down his chest, following the path he’d forged on her earlier.

“Shit,” Eren gasped as he curled her tongue over him, “Shit- _Mikasa_.”

“Well you weren’t wrong,” Mikasa whispered, closing her lips around his arousal as he groaned. She pressed her palms flat to his thighs, holding him as she dipped her head lower, taking more of him while he whined above her.

She felt his legs begin to shake on either side of her, and then his hands were in her hair, urging her away even as she frowned.

“Eren-”

He smiled, cheeks flushed and looking absolutely wrecked. “Come here,” he said, pulling her to him until they lay flushed together and she understood. Adjusting herself slightly, Mikasa lowered her hips onto his, muffling her groan against his shoulder. She took his hands, holding them above his head with her own, circling her hips as his snapped against hers roughly.

She cried out as he dropped her hands, gripping her hips to forcefully push against her. “I love you,” he gasped against her neck, fingers digging into her hipbones, his pace messy and needy, her hands clenching beside his head as she hovered above her. He kissed across her collarbone, desperately murmuring, “I love you, I love you…”

Mikasa pulled back slightly, alarm flashing through her mind, but she couldn’t focus on his tone when his hands snuck down to where they were joined, thumb flicking against her clit, and pushing her over the edge again as she groaned against his neck and he shouted his pleasure against her slick skin, lazily riding her through her release.

Eren carefully pulled himself away, allowing her to fall to her side next to him, twirling a lock of hair away from her eyes, his bright green eyes tracing her features slowly. “I love you,” he repeated, sounding far less desperate; she wondered if she’d overreacted before.

Mikasa tightened her hand in his hair, pulling herself as close to him as she could as she felt his arm wrap tightly against her shoulders. “I know,” she whispered, reveling in the warmth of his body. “I love you, too.”

* * *

When Mikasa woke the next morning, Eren was gone and she felt sick to her stomach.

Pushing the sheets from her body, Mikasa lurched to the bathroom, holding her hair back from her face as she dispelled the contents of her stomach, coughing and cringing above the bowl. Once she figured it passed, she wiped her mouth and rinsed it under the sink.

Her reflection in the mirror was startling; her eyes were puffy and red, complexion pastier than usual, chest heaving as Mikasa thought through what could be wrong with her.

Had she eaten something bad recently? Perhaps it was just the flu. Food poisoning or the flu, either way, she should probably go back to the walls and get checked out by a medic.

Groaning, Mikasa stumbled from the bathroom, tying her hair back with the first piece of ribbon she could find on her way to the kitchen.

“ _Tea fixes everything,_ ” Levi had announced, more than once, during their late-night strategy meanings. She supposed now was a good time as any to test his theory. She rummaged through a cabinet; locating the tea she’d bought while traveling and immediately brewing a pot of water.

Once her water was ready, Mikasa settled herself on the couch with one of Armin’s old books, pulling a face at the bitterness of her drink. How Levi drank that all the time would always be a mystery to her. Still, she drank the whole thing. Her stomach felt better, but that didn’t guarantee that whatever had made her sick was gone.

Mikasa sighed, falling to her side on the cushions and wrapping an arm around her waist, face pressed awkwardly close to the pages of the book. She stayed that way, curled in on herself, even when she heard Sasha outside, bragging to Armin and Jean and Eren about her latest catch; she didn’t feel very hungry.

“Mikasa?” She heard Eren call into the house, heard him clamber inside. She felt a hand on her forehead, fingers running through her hair. Mikasa slowly opened her eyes; Eren’s own worried expression looking back at her. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” Mikasa groaned. “I was sick this morning, and-” A fresh wave of nausea surged through her body and she barely made it back to the bathroom before she was sick again, huddled against the bowl while Eren followed behind her, holding her hair back from her face.

“Shit,” she grumbled, leaning back against Eren’s legs once she finished. A soft whine escaped her as Eren swept her sweaty hair away from her face. “I have to see a medic.”

Eren nodded, kissing the top of her head. “I was going to Hanji’s tomorrow anyway. I’ll come with you instead.”

Mikasa shook her head feebly. “I’ll be okay, you go see Hanji.”

“Are you sure?” He sounded skeptical.

“Yes.” She said, grasping onto his hand. She tugged lightly, and he helped her to stand, leading her back towards their bedroom. “It’s probably food poisoning. Nothing dramatic.” Eren frowned, looking as if he wanted to say more on the subject, but tucked her into bed instead, forgoing whatever he’d been doing before to pull her into his arms. “I hope you feel better soon. I love you, Mikasa.” She fell asleep to Eren’s fingers tugging gently through her hair.

* * *

Hanji greeted her eagerly the next afternoon, pulling her into a strong hug and to a worn-down couch in the corner of their office.

“Mikasa! Long time, no see,” they laughed, fluffing her hair as if she were a child. “You just missed Eren, actually. I’m surprised you didn’t come together.”

Mikasa found herself smiling. She’d woken late that morning, and after being sick again, she’d rode slowly into town, arriving later in the day than she’d originally planned. So she skipped the visit to the medic and headed straight to Hanji’s, hoping the Commander could give her the information she needed anyway.

“I was originally here to see a medic,” Mikasa said, shrugging.

Hanji’s demeanor changed immediately as they turned to fully face Mikasa, throwing an arm over the back of the couch and scrutinizing her in silence for a few long moments.

Mikasa almost squirmed. “What?”

“Have you been feeling sick?” Hanji asked.

“Yeah,” Mikasa said slowly, crossing her legs. “It started yesterday morning, and I’ve been sick two more times since then. I figured it was just food poisoning or the flu, since we’ve been to so many new places and ate new-”

Hanji interrupted. “Are you sexually active?”

Mikasa paused, staring up at Hanji, her jaw slackening. “Yes,” she managed.

They nodded. “Do you remember our last meeting before you left? When I explained that your BMI was high enough for a regular period?” Mikasa nodded. “When was the last time you had it?”

She thought back. “A little more than a month ago, five weeks I believe,” she said slowly. The answer was staring her in the face. A memory from a lifetime ago flittered across her mind; her mother getting sick in the mornings, looking pale and groggy and snapping at her father, the reason why Dr. Jaeger had been coming in the first place… “I’m late.” Mikasa gasped quietly, gaze dropping in horror to her lap, hands hovering uncertainly over her midsection. Was she…?

Hanji took her hand carefully, pulling her from the couch and to the medic ward of the castle. They were speaking, but Mikasa couldn’t hear anything they said. Hanji led her through a few tests, chatting the entire time, and Mikasa appreciated the background noise as her thoughts muddled. A few hours later, they had their answer.

“Well, Mikasa,” they said, sitting back in their chair and offering the young woman a kind smile. “It seems congratulations are in order-”

“I can’t be pregnant.” Mikasa blurted, eyes wide and heartbeat erratic. “I’m only nineteen, I can’t be… _pregnant._ ”

Hanji stood, pressing their hands to her shoulders and squeezing gently, pushing Mikasa back into her chair. “There are options,” they explained. “Ways to get rid of the baby.”

“No.”

They blinked. Mikasa curled her fists at her side. All she’d wanted for most of her life was a home and a family… maybe that second part was just coming a lot sooner than she’d expected, but she wasn’t getting rid of the baby. She could do it. She and Eren, they could do it.

“Okay,” Hanji said, a tender smile pulling at their lips. They must have seen this change in women several times. “You’re going to need some vitamins,” they explained, writing something down on a scrap of paper. “The medics here can give them to you. And you’ll have to come back here for check-ups, and we’ll meet with a midwife.” Hanji handed her the paper, folding her fingers over the coarse edges. “Congratulations, Mikasa. Come see me again in a few weeks.”

After getting her vitamins and some more instructions from the medics, Mikasa returned home in a daze. She was pregnant. It seemed so surreal, and she wondered if she would ever get used to the idea that a she was having a _baby._ She had to tell Eren.

Eren’s horse wasn’t tied up outside when she got back to the beach. Mikasa frowned, leading her horse to the post, tying her up, and handing off a carrot, working her fingers through the animal’s thick mane. They should fence off an area for the horses to roam. She surveyed the land quickly, looking for any sign of Eren on the beach or roof or anywhere else.

“Eren?” Mikasa called into the house, foolishly hoping he may have tied his horse somewhere else. There was no response. _Calm down,_ she though, raking her fingers through her hair, _just because he isn’t here doesn’t mean anything’s wrong._ Eren was probably in the market, or visiting Historia; she would see him soon.

But the next morning, Eren still wasn’t home.

Mikasa checked outside again, but when she didn’t see any sign of him, she turned on her heel, sprinting to Armin’s. She knocked loudly, quickly, and erratically, worst-case scenarios running through her mind.

Armin opened the door after another minute, hair mussed and red-eyed from sleep. “Mikasa?” Something in her expression must have worried him as he immediately perked up, opening the door and ushering her inside. “Are you alright?”

“Have you seen Eren?” The words tumbled too quickly; dread settling in the pit of her stomach. She wrung her hands.

Armin frowned, leading her to the kitchen and putting a kettle on to boil. “Not since yesterday morning. I ran into him on his way to Hanji’s. Why?”

Mikasa propped herself up onto the counter, kicking her heels lightly against the cabinets. “He didn’t come home last night,” she said after a moment.

Armin pursed his lips, eyes trained solely on the teakettle. She ducked her head. Maybe Sasha knew something? Maybe someone from the walls saw him? Soon, the kettle began to boil, Armin reaching for it before the whistle got too loud, quietly explaining that Jean was still asleep, and pouring the scalding liquid into two mugs. He handed one to Mikasa, leaning against the counter next to where she was sitting. She took a tentative sip, welcoming the burn. “Did he say anything before leaving yesterday?”

Mikasa shook her head. “He left before I woke up, but he didn’t say anything the night before.”

“I don’t know if Jean or Sasha saw him,” Armin said, staring ahead.

Mikasa blinked quickly, taking a long drink of the tea. It was different from the one she had at her house, and she felt it settle uncomfortably in her stomach. She thought back to what the medics had said, about foods and drinks that would upset her stomach now, things that she would have to give up. She clamped a hand over her mouth, nearly slamming the mug on the counter as she hopped down, jogging to the bathroom.

She heard Armin follow her, calling after her worriedly. He held her hair back as she was sick, keeping a solid hand on her back, helping her stand and clean herself. He didn’t say anything as he led her back to the kitchen, seating her down at the table. “Didn’t like the tea?” He joked.

Mikasa dropped her head onto her arms, finally breaking under the weight of the events of the past few days. Her arms tensed as she cried, tiny hiccups escaping her when Armin hurried over.

“Mikasa?” He ran his hands over her shoulders, gripping tight and leaning against her, forehead pressed against her shoulder blade. “What is it?”

She looked up, sniffing loudly and wiping at her tears, fresh ones replacing them almost instantly. “I’m pregnant,” she choked, her head falling back on her arms. “I’m pregnant,” she repeated through her tears, “and I don’t know where Eren is.”

“You’re pregnant?” He sounded elated. Mikasa looked up, desperately trying to get him to understand her situation, but Armin just took her hands in his, gently threading their fingers together. “I’m sure Eren just got sidetracked back in the walls,” he reassured her, eyes flickering between her face and her midsection, hidden beneath the table. “But Mikasa?”

“Yeah?” She breathed, raising their linked hands to wipe messily at her nose.

Armin’s expression softened. “Congratulations.”

Mikasa dropped one of his hands, letting it fall right over the waistband of her sleep pants, pressing her fingers into the defined muscle, imagining the day she woke to a rounded belly. She sniffed again, but by now her tears had stopped.

“Do you know if it’s a girl or a boy?” Armin asked, gesturing to her stomach.

“No,” Mikasa said, shaking her head. “Hanji said I’m about four weeks, it’s way too early to check.”

Armin squeezed her hand and opened his mouth to say something else when Jean wandered into the kitchen, ruffling the blonde’s hair on his way to the counter. He grabbed Mikasa’s abandoned mug, taking a log swig and pulling a face. “I thought I told you this tea sucks,” he murmured, placing it back down.

“It does not,” Armin groaned, rolling his eyes with a small smile.

_“So are you two, like, dating?” Eren asked after they’d received the okay to leave the walls._

_Armin shrugged, glancing to the taller boy. “No.”_

_“But you’re gonna live together?”_

_“Yeah,”_

_“Cool.” Eren grinned, linking their arms together._

Jean turned back from the fridge, finally noticing Mikasa at the table just as the memory passed, taking Mikasa’s breath away. She could still remember the feeling of his fingers curled around her own.

“Hey, Mikasa.” Jean greeted, eyeing her tear-stained face, looking between the two of them. “Is everything okay?” She didn’t say anything as he sat down on her other side, dropping a plate of small crackers on the table between them.

“Jean,” Armin said slowly, “have you seen Eren recently?”

Jean ran a hand through his hair slowly, chewing quickly on a cracker. “Ah, I saw him yesterday morning. His horse’s reins were tangled. But I haven’t seen him since.” He paused. Mikasa felt her expression crumble. “Why?”

Mikasa took a breath. “He didn’t come home last night.”

“The _fuck_? Do you wanna go look for him?”

 _Yes._ She wanted to, desperately, but her stomach still hadn’t settled and she felt exhaustion clinging to her mind. She shook her head, gaze falling to the table.

“Well, I’m going to go,” Jean announced, standing from the table. “I’ll ask Sasha if she wants to join.”

“Jean,” Mikasa gasped, grabbing his wrist as he passed. “You don’t-”

He placed his hand atop her own, offering a small smile. “Mikasa, on the off chance that something’s wrong, we want to find him as soon as possible. Or beat him for leaving you alone, if he’s fine.” He passed her quickly, disappearing into his room and emerging a few moments later with new clothes and slightly less tousled hair. “Armin?”

Armin studied her for a moment; she wondered what he saw. “Yeah, yeah I’ll come. Mikasa, you’re welcome to stay here today, and as long as you need to. We’ll be back this afternoon.”

Their search proved fruitless, as Mikasa learned when they got home later that evening. Sasha had asked around the marketplaces while Jean and Armin asked around the capital, no one but Hanji had seen him yesterday. The two men began dinner as soon as they got home, speaking in hushed tones a few feet away from where she sat with Sasha.

“I didn’t know you drew,” Mikasa murmured after the silence between them stretched too far for her liking.

Sasha only shrugged, twirling the charcoal around her fingers. “I guess I picked it up from Jean. It’s something easy to do.” Her eyes flicked between the picture, a lifelike portrait of Mikasa at the table, her head bowed and arms disappearing beneath the tabletop, and her shoulder.

Jean quickly set down the bowls of stew while Armin handed her a small box of tea, different from the one she had at her home. “I talked with Hanji a bit today.” He said, sitting down beside her. “They said this should help settle your stomach a little better.”

“Are you sick, Mikasa?” Sasha asked around a mouthful of food, eyeing her worriedly.

There was no point in trying to keep her condition a secret, really. They all lived on top of each other, if she didn’t tell them now, they’d figure it out before she even started showing. Mikasa glanced down to the tea in her hands again; wondering how this announcement would have gone if she’d had Eren to tell first. Would he have woken everyone up to tell the news? Kept quiet about it to make a big reveal?

She kept her eyes firmly trained on the tea. “I’m pregnant,” Mikasa whispered, the words feeling lighter than they had yesterday.

“That’s amazing! Congrats!” Sasha cried, pushing away from the table at the same time Jean growled, “I’m going to _kill_ Jaeger.”

Sasha rounded the table, dropping to her knees in front of Mikasa, pressing her hands against Mikasa’s stomach. “Is it a girl or a boy?” She asked, leaning in.

Mikasa put a hand to her head, preventing the brunette from pressing her ear to Mikasa’s midsection. “I don’t know. It’s still too early to tell.”

She raised an eyebrow as Sasha whined. “How long have you kept it from us? I have a baby niece or nephew! Aw man, I can’t wait to teach them to hunt, and kill deer, use a bow, and bully Jean…”

“ _Hey_!”

“Sasha,” Mikasa found herself smiling, patting the other woman’s head. “You will do none of that until the baby’s old enough.”

“I’m sure an infant could take down a rabbit.”

“Sasha!”

Sasha laughed, standing back up and wrapping her arms around Mikasa’s shoulders. “Ah, I’m so happy for you, Mikasa!” She wiggled her way onto Mikasa’s chair, both women nearly falling off, but Mikasa only returned the embrace.

“Thank you,” she whispered to Sasha’s shoulder.

Armin suggested again she stay the night, Sasha inviting herself to stay once Mikasa accepted. He made her more tea before they all retired to the living room, sitting against furniture and watching the tail end of the sunset. She sat squished between her friends, all talking over each other, speaking of whatever came to mind.

Mikasa leaned her head against Armin’s, exhausting evading her even as Sasha started to snore lightly. He took her hand; Jean rested his own on her knee, eyes downcast and expression unreadable.

_Eren, where are you?_

* * *

Three weeks later there was still no sign of Eren.

Mikasa had spent the time alternating between her friend’s houses, still not able to sleep through the night. Morning sickness still plagued her, thought it was much less frequent than before, and for that she was glad. Her vitamins had run out, however, and she figured it was time for one of Hanji’s check ups.

She hadn’t told anyone she was going back to the walls, leaving before dawn and choosing to allow her friends a day without her there to get sick or suffer a change in her mood.

It was warm when Mikasa arrived at the capital, though not as blistering as it had once been. Summer was ending soon; they would need to build a barn for the horses.

Mikasa handed her horse’s reins to a Corps veteran outside of the castle, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her light jacket. “The Commander is in a meeting right now,” the woman told her, tying the reins around her hand. “It should only be a few more minutes.” Mikasa nodded, walking the halls towards Hanji’s main office.

She leaned against the wall outside, keeping her head down even as a few soldiers passed her by. A couple even saluted her.

“Well, lookie here.” A familiar drawl echoed around the hallway a moment before a pair of mud caked boots stopped right in front of Mikasa’s. She looked up, hair brushing lightly against her shoulders as she saw the dark face with splattered freckles, the dark eyes and easy-going smirk.

“Ymir.” Mikasa breathed, a quiet laugh escaping her. “It’s been a while.”

After finding Historia during the final battle, Ymir had fought on their side, helping to end the war and gaining Mikasa’s trust in the process. She’d never truly hated the girl, no she found Ymir’s blunt honesty refreshing, but they hadn’t seen each other since Ymir moved into the castle and Mikasa left with Armin and Eren.

Ymir reached forward, ruffling Mikasa’s hair. She pushed the taller woman’s hand away, smiling. “How’ve you been?”

“Good,” Mikasa answered immediately, her expression falling.

Ymir noticed right away. “Nah, nah you’re not. What happened?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Mikasa pleaded, fidgeting with her hands. Ymir studied her expression for a moment longer, but nodded. “What about you?” She asked, gratefully. “How are things with Historia?”

“Great,” Ymir rolled her eyes. “Only one assassination attempt this month, so I guess that’s the last of the people who hated her taking the throne.” Her eyes darkened. Mikasa wondered what she’d done to the almost-murderers they’d caught. “But other than that, things have been swell.” She made a crude gesture with her hands, winking. Mikasa snorted.

“Have you thought at all about visiting-?”

“Mikasa Ackerman.”

Both women turned at the sound of a new voice, at the end of the hallway stood two soldiers, and as they neared, Mikasa could see the Military Police emblem sewed onto their jackets.

“I thought the MP’s were disbanded,” Mikasa hissed to Ymir.

“They were.” Ymir knocked her chin towards the soldiers. “What are you doing out here? Shouldn’t you be helping civilians prepare to leave?”

One soldier barely glanced at her, while the other kept her eyes solely trained on Mikasa’s stomach. Mikasa felt her blood run cold. “This doesn’t concern you,” the blonde soldier said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I am the Queen’s wife-!”

The woman turned back to Mikasa, staring at her with a cold look. “Whose child is it?”

Mikasa felt her jaw slacken, her hands falling limp in her pockets. How…? How could these two soldiers, who didn’t look loyal to Historia _at all_ , know about her baby? She’d barely learned of it, barely come to terms with it, and the news was already spreading to veterans feebly holding on to a corrupt past?

Ymir wrapped her arm around Mikasa’s shoulders, pulling her against her own chest. “Mine.”

Where the soldiers looked exasperated before, now they looked downright pissed. The woman narrowed her eyes, leaning over to murmur something into the man’s ear.

The man stepped forward, pointing briefly to her stomach. Mikasa ignored the urge to hide herself, to hold her stomach and _run_. “If it is, in fact, Eren Jaeger’s child, there is a chance it will be a monster, as well. There is a chance it could be a threat to humanity, and we will fight for its eradication.”

“This is my _child_!” Mikasa snarled, her steps hindered by the hold Ymir kept on her.

The woman only shrugged. “And if it’s the child of a monster, it will be one as well. I’m sure the remainder of the people in these walls would not be pleased if the Titan threat returned because of you.”

Mikasa’s nostrils flared, her urge to flee completely replaced by one to silence the soldiers in front of her. “I am your superior, you will not do anything to my child!”

“You’re not a soldier anymore, _Mikasa_.” Her voice was cool, condescending. “If the public decides the child is a threat, there will be nothing you can do.” She took a step forward as Mikasa drew herself to her full height. “Now-”

“Is there a problem here?” Historia appeared around the corner, arms crossed and steps even as Hanji walked beside her.

The two soldiers saluted her half-heartedly. “No, your majesty.”

“Huh,” Hanji said, tapping a finger against their bottom lip. “I could have sworn Levi and I burned all of the Military Police uniforms.”

“We found a few extras.” The man said tightly.

“Mhm. I’ll just burn them later,” they laughed, the sound of it chilling even Mikasa’s blood.

Ymir pointed towards the two soldiers. “Historia,” she said slowly. “Don’t you have something better these two could do with their time?”

“Of course,” Historia agreed, eyeing the taller soldiers warily. “As I’m _sure_ Ymir mentioned, the civilians need help preparing to leave, still.”

“Yes, your majesty.” The woman said, coldly. “We simply had one more question for Captain Ackerman,” Mikasa bristled, Ymir whispering for her to keep calm. “And we would be on our way.”

Historia didn’t look convinced. “Very well, then. Go on.”

The woman turned back to Mikasa, stepping close until there was only an arms length between them. “Whose child is it?”

“Armin Arlert’s.” Mikasa blurted.

She didn’t look very convinced. “For your sake, and for the life of your child, I hope you’re telling the truth.” She turned on her heel, the man following after, and they disappeared down the hallway without another look at the Queen.

Historia rubbed tiredly at her temples, letting out a sigh. “I’m so sorry about that, Mikasa. There are still a few people unhappy about the end of the previous Monarch and the MP’s.” She wrapped her arm around Mikasa’s waist, “are you okay?”

“I-” Her child could be a shifter, and the people who still hated Eren and the other shifters would try to kill the baby. “I don’t think so.”

The small blonde squeezed her gently. “Don’t worry about them,” she said quietly. “They have no power here. The courts are being reworked, and ultimately every decision comes to me, and I won’t let them touch your baby.”

“But if they manage to get the support of the people remaining inside the walls, that could be another story,” Hanji said carefully. “You told them it was Armin’s child, so that should buy you some time. We’ll run a few tests on you, and on the baby once it’s born.” They paused at the face Mikasa pulled. “Just precautionary,” they assured her with a smile.

“Ymir,” Mikasa said slowly, looking up towards the taller girl. She hummed. “Is it possible for the baby to be a shifter?”

“I don’t know,” Ymir admitted. “You know I ate someone to gain my shifting ability, but Eren and the others were changed into Titans. Hell, Eren was injected a whole lot later than the others.” She paused, glancing over to Historia. “Even though we can’t shift anymore, we still have the Titan blood.”

Historia said, “I suppose it could be passed on like any other trait.” Mikasa hesitantly cupped her stomach, feeling the familiar sting of tears at the corners of her eyes. “That doesn’t mean it is one!” Historia tried to placate her, but Mikasa stepped out of the pair’s embrace.

“Can we just,” she sighed, feeling tired and angry and lonely. “Do the check up so I can go home?”

“Of course,” Hanji said, leading her to the med ward.

“Good luck, Mikasa.” Ymir called behind her.

“Oh, and congratulations!”

Hanji led her through the check up, but this time they were quiet, watching the monitors and writing notes with a careful expression. “Still too early to tell,” they said after handing Mikasa a few paper towels to clean herself. “We should be able to check in a month or two, though.” They handed her more vitamins, explained that she may start showing soon and should eat more.

“Hanji.” Mikasa said quietly when they were done, pulling her scarf up to cover her mouth. “Do you think my baby is a shifter?”

“I don’t know,” they answered, pulling Mikasa in for a hug. “But I do know, the child will have the support of the greatest mom, her dangerous friends, and the rulers of this land. Your baby will be fine.”

Mikasa nodded, accepting her horse from a soldier. She’d ended up staying within the walls for longer than she had planned, and she didn’t arrive home until nighttime, riding slowly and thinking back to what those soldiers had said.

She tied up her horse outside Armin and Jean’s house, pressing her palm flat against her stomach. “About as much trouble as your father, huh?” She murmured, smiling sadly.

Mikasa heard the familiar wail of a teakettle and realized Armin must have been waiting up for her. She found him in the kitchen, pouring two mugs. He handed one to her; he didn’t say anything until she had drank almost half her cup. “What did Hanji say?”

“Still a little too early, but other than that the baby is fine.” She paused. “I ran into Ymir today.”

“Really?” Armin asked, grinning. “What did she-?”

“And some MP’s.”

Armin’s smile fell. “I thought they were-”

“Disbanded. Yeah, these two seemed adamant on not giving it up.” Mikasa took another sip of her tea, finishing the cup and holding it in front of her stomach. “I had to tell them… that you were the father.” He choked a little, glancing down at her with wide eyes. “I know, I know, I’m sorry!” She explained the conversation, the accusations, and the threats, and the most likely fate of her child.

“Mikasa,” Armin cut her off, taking her arms gently. “I understand why you had to tell them that.” He paused. “When the baby comes… do you want me to sign the birth certificate?”

“No,” Mikasa sighed. She leaned forward, resting her forehead against his chest. “What am I going to do, Armin?”

“Have your baby,” he whispered, running a hand through her inky hair. “And we’ll be right beside you to keep you both safe.”

“I wish Eren was here.” Her voice broke, tears threatening to spill again as she clutched at his sleep shirt. “I miss him.”

“I know, Mikasa. I miss him, too.”

* * *

Mikasa realized she’d started showing at the beginning of her fourth month.

Or rather, Sasha realized when Mikasa’s shirt rode up while she was stretching. She’d squealed, shooting up from her chair to pull Mikasa’s shirt away from her stomach and announce, “I see a bump!”

And there was one, a rounded curve to her belly that Mikasa was surprised she hadn’t noticed before. She placed her hand over Sasha’s on her stomach, sharing a grin with the other woman.

“We heard screaming! What’s wrong?” Jean rounded the front of the house, jumping clean up the stairs as Armin followed behind.

“Nothing’s wrong, dummy!” Sasha laughed, nodding over at Mikasa. “She’s got a bump, is all.”

Mikasa dropped back into her chair, hands splayed across her stomach as Armin breathed a small “oh,” a look of wonder crossing his face as Sasha began to talk excitedly, the two men settling into the free chairs across from them.

“Ooh, you’re going to need new clothes soon, and the baby’s gonna need them too! I’ll go to the walls tomorrow.” Sasha kept her hand on top of Mikasa’s; she wondered if Eren would have done the same.

“Sasha,” Mikasa smiled. “There’s still a bit of time before the baby’s born, you don’t have to get so many clothes right now.”

Sasha only shrugged. “I want to. This baby is as much mine as it is yours.”

Mikasa laughed. “I don’t remember you being there.”

The brunette winked, “I can show you again.” Mikasa groaned, shoving Sasha’s face away when Sasha tried to plant a kiss somewhere on her face.

Sasha drew up a list while the sun set behind her, asking Mikasa about colors and whether or not she should buy winter clothes if the baby would be born in early spring, if she should get bottles and baby food so they could stock up; she made a separate list entirely of toys, declaring that she was determined to be the best aunt the baby had, Queens be damned.

Jean hung back with her after Sasha and Armin left, the former shouting that Jean had to come with her to the walls to help pick out colors and fabrics. He sat in the chair across from her, arms pressed tightly to his chest, and he frowned at the wood of the porch.

Mikasa paused in dragging her fingers across her stomach, pulling the fabric of her shirt down as she straightened in her seat, mirroring his frown. “Jean,” she said quietly, waiting until he looked up to continue. “What’s wrong?”

Jean hesitated, teeth dragging against his bottom lip as she watched him shift uncomfortably in his chair. ”Jaeger’s an idiot.”

Her breath caught, fingers tightening on the sleeve of Eren’s old shirt. “Jean, I really don’t-”

“He left us,” Jean spit, eyes flickering to the house behind her. “He left you and you’re pregnant with his goddam _child_ -”

“Eren doesn’t know-”

“He still left!” Jean lurched to his feet, turning his back to her and gripping the railing of the porch, shoulders tensing. “Eren doesn’t know about the baby?” He groaned when she confirmed it, shaking his head with a bitter laugh. Mikasa stood quietly, padding over to him and leaning her forearms on the rail beside him, bowing her head. “That asshole… If he wasn’t happy here, why’d he quit exploring the goddam world?”

“I don’t think that’s why he left.” Mikasa murmured, glancing up to her friend. “He told me the day we moved in he really was done traveling, that staying here was what he wanted.” She remembered the way he looked when he told her that, the picture of complete devotion and love painting his features, the touch of his fingers she’d missed for so long now.

Jean scoffed. “If he was so certain, why isn’t he here right fucking now? Domesticity scared him off?”

“I don’t know what it was.” She stared up to the sky, wondering exactly where Eren could have gone. He’d loved the ocean best when they’d traveled, would he have gone back to a different place he liked? Or was he in uncharted land, somewhere Mikasa couldn’t find him? She picked at a loose thread on her sleeve. The fabric, much like her scarf, had long since lost his scent though she didn’t care; she would never let go of him that easily. “I think it had something to do with what he talked about with Hanji, something with not being a shifter anymore.”

Jean shrugged lightly, leaning his side against the railing to face her. “You think the loss of his power hurt him that badly?”

_“It’s like a part of me is missing, I guess. I’m gonna miss that monster.”_

“I think it’s possible,” Mikasa whispered. She pushed herself away from the railing, sighing as she craned her head to face him. “Look, Jean. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I’m having this baby without Eren, and I can’t focus on giving the baby the attention it needs if you keep bringing this up, okay?”

Jean studied her briefly before he nodded. He pulled her in for a quick hug, his apology nestled deep in the way his fingers gripped her ribs. He offered a small smile when he pulled away. “I’m still going to punch him when I see him again.”

She laughed sharply. “Get in line. Oh!” Her spine bowed, fingers flying straight to her midsection, eyes snapping wide.

“Mikasa? What happened, what’s wrong?” Jean took her shoulder, ducking his head to catch her eyes.

She laughed again, the sound breathy and high and lighter than she could remember. “The baby, Jean.”

“Is it okay?” His fingers dug into her skin.

“It _kicked_.”

Jean blinked, dropping his hands immediately. “Oh,” he breathed.

Mikasa adjusted her hold on her stomach, spreading her fingers to cover as much skin as possible until- _there_ , a tiny nudge by her scarred hipbone. She laughed again, unfamiliar tears of elation pooling in her eyes. “Here,” Mikasa whispered, taking Jean’s hands and pressing them to her belly. He was uncomfortable; shifting his weight back and forth, murmuring something Mikasa couldn’t catch before the baby pressed against her again, right at his palm.

“Oh.” Jean said again, lips pulling up into a smile. “Holy shit.” He moved his hands, trying to catch the brief sensation again.

They stayed like that until neither felt the baby again for a few moments. “Must be asleep,” Mikasa said, tugging her shirt back down.

Jean stared at his fingers, shaking his head with a bright smile. “Armin’s gonna flip.” He brushed her hair away from her shoulders. “Eren really is missing out.” Mikasa narrowed her eyes, but Jean kissed the top of her head quickly. “Goodnight, Mikasa.” He was halfway down the steps before he noticed she’d hung back. His eyes darted between her and the door to her home. “You staying here tonight?”

Mikasa nodded. “It’s been four months, Jean, I can do it.” She couldn’t be afraid of her baby’s home. Jean nodded, bidding her goodnight and disappearing around the corner of the house, leaving Mikasa with nothing but her thoughts, an empty bed, and her unborn child.

* * *

Mikasa learned quickly that Sasha was not joking about getting everything she could for the baby. The brunette often went into the walls every day, dragging Jean or Armin along with her to help carry everything. Historia and Ymir had already sent out a crib, a rocker, and a dresser, and coupled with the piles of clothes, blankets, and toys Sasha scattered around the spare room of Mikasa’s house, the once bare room had been transformed into a nursery.

Winter had passed slowly, and with it so had Mikasa’s cravings. Her friends would never admit it, but she knew they were glad she wasn’t crying for them to get her pickles or strawberries from the walls in the middle of the night. At least her mood swings had been few and far between, although she still chuckled at the memory of the face Armin made the first time she’d begun crying at one of his blissful stories.

“Hey, Mikasa, how much longer ‘till the baby comes?” Sasha asked from where she sat with Jean in the living room, both threading needles in different fabrics for baby clothes.

Mikasa groaned from where she lay on the couch, glaring down at her baby bump, or rather, baby mound. “Last week the midwife said before she left that it should be within a month. Can’t come soon enough, if you ask me, it’s been about nine months already,” she grumbled, running a hand along the shirt Sasha had made her.

“Don’t say that,” Armin laughed. “It’s just the hormones talking. Once the baby comes, the discomfort now will seem irrelevant.”

“Sorry,” Mikasa rolled her eyes, staring to the ceiling. “I didn’t realize you’ve been pregnant before.” Jean snorted.

“Well, no, but I read about it-”

“You’ve been reading about pregnancy?” Mikasa sat up quickly, pulling a face at the uncomfortable shifts.

Armin nodded. “I wanted to be able to help you if you ever needed it, so I got as many books as I could from Hanji.”

“Armin,” she murmured, lip quivering as she began to cry.

He moved to her side, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, completely used to these quick changes. “Don’t be sad, Mikasa. I didn’t mean-”

She shoved at his leg. “I’m _happy_ , idiot.” He chuckled, squeezing her gently.

“Have you thought of any baby names?” Sasha asked idly, holding up the fabric to inspect her handiwork. It was a bit crooked, but other than that looked like a perfect pair of pants. “My neice should have the best name, after all.”

Mikasa frowned. “I told you, I don’t know if it’s-”

“I know, I know!” Sasha laughed, tossing the pants to Jean to finish. “I have a bet with-” She glanced behind her, body tensing and when she turned around her expression was forced and Mikasa _knew_ exactly who she was thinking of. “Well, I would have a bet…”

“I’ll bet you,” Jean murmured, still focused on his own sewing. “You said girl, right? I’ll bet it’s a boy.”

“Yay!” Sasha squealed, bowling Jean over with a hug.

Jean pushed her off with a muttered, “alright, alright get offa me,” but he was grinning as he leaned over to flick her forehead. “Mikasa, what color do you…want…” his words trailed off and he glanced worriedly from her face to Armin.

“Jean?” Mikasa asked, feeling something well inside her chest- fear and confusion and… pain? She looked down, worst possible scenarios flooding her mind until she saw the small stain spreading swiftly across her clothes, her fear of an issue quickly being replaced by fear for something she hadn’t prepared herself for. “I-”

Armin reacted first, “Jean, get Mikasa to the bedroom. I’m going for the midwife.” Everyone moved at once, Armin standing and disappearing out the front door while Jean dropped the clothing, hooking an arm under her neck and knees, awkwardly lifting her into his arms and lumbering to her bedroom, Sasha following them with blankets. He laid her down on the bed, propping some pillows behind her head, taking the blankets from Sasha to place them by her feet.

Sasha sat on the bed behind Mikasa, pulling her head into her lap and stroking her hair, murmuring things Mikasa couldn’t hear over her blood pounding in her ears.

Jean tugged her shirt away from her stomach. “Mikasa? Are you okay?”

“I think-” A sharp pain at her apex tore a gasp from Mikasa’s lips, and she tensed as the sensation passed. Contractions, the midwife had said. A low pain broke out through her entire body, centered at her core and licking its way up her spine. She cried out again as the pain returned, stronger than before. “No, definitely not.”

“Mikasa!” Jean grasped her hand, sitting beside her on the bed. “Fuck, Armin and the midwife will be here soon. Dammit! Mikasa, just, just hold on, okay?” She squeezed his hand in affirmation. “It’ll be okay. You’re ready for this. Hanji told you everything, Armin’s been bothering me with baby and pregnancy facts for months and leaving the books everywhere-”

“Jean,” Mikasa gasped, her nails digging into the taunt skin on the back of his hands. He winced. “I love you, but please _shut the hell up._ ”

“Right, right sorry.”

Sasha tried to placate her, but Mikasa didn’t want reassuring words and gentle touches, she wanted the baby out of her and the pain to go away. But most of all, she wanted Eren there, gripping her hand, brushing the hair away from her face and encouraging her to bring the new life into the world, to fight for it, to not give into the pain. Oh, how she wanted him.

Mikasa gasped a curse, body bowing slightly. She felt the baby kick eagerly against her stomach, by her hip, at her ribs, adding even more pain to the experience. “As restless as your father, huh?” She laughed, watching Jean glance to Sasha nervously; Mikasa wondered if they thought her crazy.

Mikasa didn’t know how much time or how many contractions had passed by the time Armin, the midwife, and Hanji reached her bedroom, all she knew was the numbing feeling at the base of her spine, the brutal heat at her core. Armin immediately took her other hand as the midwife; a tall lanky woman with bright golden hair took position by her feet.

“All right, Mikasa,” she began, voice soothing against the constant pain humming through her veins. “You’re not quite ready to begin pushing, but it shouldn’t be long now.”

Mikasa nodded, a scream tearing from her parted lips, hands clenching onto Armin and Jean’s. Her back bowed again before she fell back against Sasha’s lap.

“Gross.”

“Ymir! Shush!”

Blinking through her sweaty bangs, Mikasa turned to see Historia and Ymir standing at her open door, the latter making a face at the midwife and Hanji, speaking in low tones at the foot of Mikasa’s bed. Ymir turned back to face her. “Don’t give me that look, you think we’d miss this?”

The midwife cut off whatever Historia was going to add when she cried, “almost there, Mikasa! You’re doing fantastic!” Mikasa let out a long, loud yell as her body tore itself apart to accommodate the situation. “Okay, Mikasa, when I count to three I want you to push, okay?” Mikasa nodded, biting her lip. “One, two, three… push!”

And push she did, clenching her muscles and dragging her torso away from the pillows behind her. She fell back down, tears spilling freely from her closed eyes. “Eren,” she choked, pushing again when the midwife told her to. She wondered if he would faint.

“I see the head! Mikasa, only a bit longer, now, push!” Screaming as she did so, Mikasa pushed again. She could hear Armin shouting something over to Hanji. Sasha wiped a cool towel against her forehead, taking care to wipe her tears as well. “Once more, Mikasa! Push!”

With a final push and a loud, choked cry, Mikasa slumped against the mattress, murmuring Eren’s name again when she closed her eyes, a sudden emptiness overwhelming her as high-pitched, desperate cry filled the room.

Mikasa opened her eyes, weakly turning her head to see the midwife holding the infant as Hanji cleaned it off with a towel before wrapping it in a spare. The midwife turned to her, smiling softly. “Congratulations, Mikasa. It’s a girl.”

Fresh tears leaked from her eyes as she dropped her friend’s hands to reach for her baby. The midwife adjusted the girl in Mikasa’s arms, positioning her head at the base of Mikasa’s collarbone. She stared in wonder as the baby’s cries cut off and she snuggled her face against Mikasa, blinking her eyes open for the first time.

Mikasa felt her heart stop at the vibrant green of the baby’s eyes, contrasting beautifully with her skin, a shade or two darker than Mikasa’s. They were his eyes, exactly. She raised her over hand to cup her bare head, run her fingers down her smooth cheek to rest against Mikasa’s own elbow, holding the baby close.

“Carla.” She whispered, the baby beginning to cry once again.

Armin touched her shoulder, leaning around her to rest his finger on the crook of Carla’s cheek. “She’s beautiful.” Mikasa laughed, tenderly wiping the tears from the infant’s pudgy cheeks.

Historia and Ymir joined the group on the bed. “Oh, Mikasa,” Historia crooned, reaching out to smooth her sweaty hair from her face.

Carla stopped crying a moment later, glistening green eyes scanning the room before locking onto Mikasa’s. She let out a yawn, nuzzling against Mikasa again.

Sasha flicked Jean at his temple. “You owe me dinner.”

“We never decided what we were betting!”                                                      

Hanji and the midwife finished cleaning Mikasa’s legs and removed the blankets from the bed, folding clean clothes at the corner. “Okay, Mikasa,” Hanji said, grinning sadly. They lurched forward, quickly drawing Carla’s arm from the blanket cocoon and plunged a needle into the tender flesh at her elbow. Carla’s scream was instantaneous, loud sobs following and continuing even after the needle was removed.

Mikasa nearly hissed, hunching her shoulders over Carla’s tiny frame and glaring up towards Hanji. “What the-”

“To test for the Titan blood,” they said quietly.

Her heart pounded but she nodded, adjusting her hold on Carla, running her hand down Carla’s back to try and quiet her cries. Sitting up, her friends formed a semi-circle around her while Mikasa lightly rocked Carla.

“So Carla, huh?” Ymir asked, smiling fondly at the infant.

Mikasa nodded, staring down at her baby, Eren’s baby. “Carla, after Eren’s mom,” she confirmed, a small smile tugging at her features. “Carla Jaeger.”

Hanji waved as they disappeared with the midwife. Mikasa glanced out the window, at the sun beginning to dip below the horizon- it had taken almost the entire day and she was absolutely exhausted, but it was worth it for the tiny bundle in her arms. She touched Carla’s nose lightly, the breathy noise the baby made bringing another smile to her lips.

“Mikasa, we made an announcement to the people remaining in the walls the other day.” Historia said. Mikasa looked up, glancing between the two Queens quickly. “We told them of your baby, that it was no threat and was Eren’s child. You don’t have to hide or pretend the baby is Armin’s.”

Ymir shrugged, throwing a lazy grin as she reclined back on her elbows. “Most people were pretty excited, honestly. Two heroes banging and making a baby hero? They love her already.”

“Nobody will touch you, or your baby. I promise,” Historia declared, taking Mikasa’s hand.

Mikasa nodded, eyes darting down to Carla, who had stopped crying again and was staring right back up at her with wide, sleepy eyes. “Thank you.”

Armin handed her the clothes that Hanji had left on the bed, and Mikasa hesitantly laid Carla flat on her back, unwrapping the towel. Carla was surprisingly easy to coerce into the clothes, the one piece Sasha had bought months ago fitting her well. Mikasa finished the buttons, pressing a kiss to Carla’s cheek as the girl giggled, pulling the girl to her arms again. “I love you,” she whispered against Carla’s bare head. “If only your dad could be here.”

“Mikasa…”

She looked up, nodding at Armin and offering a small smile to her friends. “I’m okay, just tired is all.” She frowned, dropping her gaze. “And I really do wish Eren was here.”

“Maybe when Carla’s older we can all go look for him,” Jean offered.

“Maybe,” Mikasa echoed, but she was sure by now that if Eren wanted to be found, he would have come home.

She watched as Carla’s eyes began to droop, her tiny eyelashes fluttering as she struggled to stay awake for a second longer. Stubborn, too it would seem. _What’d you get from me?_ She bit her lip when Carla stopped fidgeting, finally surrendering to her first slumber. Mikasa’s body and mind and heart ached and she could help but imagine what Eren was doing right then, if he’d experienced anything like this; if he’d thought of her at all.

“Stay. Please.” Mikasa whispered to no on in particular, but her friends all agreed, readjusting themselves on the bed as light conversation broke out between them.

Mikasa watched the light rise and fall of Carla’s chest as she slept, feeling almost at peace for the first time since Eren had left.

* * *

It took time, but Mikasa adjusted to taking care of a baby fairly easily. It helped that Carla learned to sleep through the night earlier than most infants, (according to Armin,) but she figured it also had something to do with the constant presence of her friends, always at her side to help with Carla, give Mikasa a break when she needed a nap, or sit with them when she needed the company.

Hanji stopped by one late spring morning about a month after Carla was born, joining Mikasa in the kitchen as the baby lapped at her breast. The Commander pushed a few papers in front of her, and she scanned them briefly, glancing up at them and frowning.

“So she does have the blood.”

Hanji nodded. “She does. In theory, Carla could learn to shift with proper training at the correct age, but without the threat of the Titans, she won’t be able to.” They gestured between the baby, who had finished eating, and Mikasa who lifted her to her shoulder, draping a towel over her shoulder and patting Carla’s fleshy back. “I don’t know if you want to tell her-”

“I will,” Mikasa interrupted. “She deserves to know where she came from, everything about Eren. I’ll tell her once she’s old enough.” Hanji nodded, providing a few more documents and a couple of small gifts from Historia and Ymir, including a Rogue Titan doll.

“Well,” Hanji said after a few hours of easy conversation, “I have a few MP uniforms to burn.” They smiled, reaching for Mikasa’s free hand squeezing gently. “Stop by whenever, Mikasa, with any questions or if you need anything.” Hanji collected their things, dropping a baby book onto the table before poking Carla’s nose and leaving as swiftly as they had come.

Mikasa pulled the baby to the crook of her arm. Carla reached for the edge of her scarf, tugging on it like she’d come to do since she was born, but Mikasa nudged her fingers away, prompting the girl to hold onto her finger instead. Carla pouted, but held on nonetheless.

“You pout like your dad.” Mikasa laughed, kissing her daughter on the tip of her nose. Carla giggled happily, grasping onto a lock of her hair and pulling. Mikasa grimaced at the sharp pain, trying to quickly untangle her fingers from her hair while Carla shrieked in delight. Mikasa shook her head, smiling. “Come on.” She stood, “it’s time for a nap.”

Carla squirmed the entire time Mikasa dressed her in her sleep clothes, throwing her arms every direction to hinder the progress and laughing brightly. Mikasa tickled her stomach gently, reveling in the girl’s amusement as Carla writhed beneath her fingers.

She laid her daughter gently into her crib, pulling a blanket over her legs as the young girl grasped onto a stuffed Dancing Titan, (Ymir had it made special and promised a Rogue Titan sometime in the future. Mikasa still wasn’t sure if she liked it, but Carla loved to sleep with it,) pulling it to her.

“Sleep well, Carla.” Mikasa whispered, bending to press one last kiss to her daughter’s forehead. “I love you.”

* * *

 

“Have you thought about what you’re going to do for her birthday?” Sasha asked, sitting in front of Jean and Carla on the porch. She reached for the young girl’s hand, Carla grasping onto her fingers eagerly from Jean’s lap. Jean curled his free arm around the girl, pulling her back from Sasha. “Hey!”

“You’re scaring her,” Jean shrugged, running his finger down Carla’s cheek.

Sasha snorted, leaning back on her hand. “I’m not the one she cried at the first time he held her.”

Jean kicked at her half-heartedly. “She was tired.”

“Tired of you!”

Mikasa pulled her from Jean’s arms; ignoring his protests to readjust Carla in her lap, letting her sit up almost on her own. She immediately took Armin’s finger, tugging on it with a happy gurgle. Carla really liked Armin.

“Sasha,” Mikasa murmured. “She’s only five months old, there’s still time before her birthday.”

Sasha only laughed, taking Carla’s foot gently. “Leave it to me. I’ll beat Ymir for best aunt this time for sure! Those Titan dolls will have nothing on her birthday party!” She blew a quick raspberry onto the girl’s foot.

“Jean,” Armin leaned around Mikasa. “Do you want to-?”

Jean nodded, standing from his chair and brushing his hands across his pants. “Yeah. Hang here for a second, there’s something I have to get.” He disappeared into his house, Sasha quickly jumping into his vacated seat.

Carla kicked her heels lightly against Mikasa’s knees; she dipped her head to press a kiss to the girl’s head, where tiny tuffs of black hair had begun to grow in. “What’s he getting?” Mikasa asked quietly, looking up from Carla.

Armin grinned, “It’s a surprise.”

Jean returned after a minute, holding up a small book and nodding to Mikasa. “Sasha helped me with it, and Armin tried as well.” He opened the cover, flipping through the pages to reveal several different drawings. She recognized Jean’s hand, and Sasha’s, and Armin’s messy attempts to capture a moment. Each page had something different; a portrait of Mikasa and Carla lounging on the couch or bed, one of Jean falling asleep while Carla tugged on his hair, Mikasa pressing her fingers to the drawing of the girl’s cheek; there were so many, each more beautiful than the last.

“Jean,” Mikasa whispered, reaching out to touch the page beneath a picture of her kissing Carla’s nose, afraid she may ruin it. “Thank you so much.” She glanced at Armin and Sasha, smiling widely. “Thank you all.”

Jean set the book down on the railing, a light pink dusting his cheeks as he shrugged, leaning against the armrest of Armin’s chair. He ran a hand through his hair, shrugging lightly. “I’m glad you like it. We’ll keep adding to it, too.”

Mikasa hummed, leaning back into her chair and pulling Carla up with her. “Hey Sasha,” she said after a moment. “Did your snares catch anything for dinner?”

“I don’t know,” Sasha stood, raising her arm above her head in a quick stretch. “I’ll go check. Jean?” He nodded, lightly nudging Armin’s head away from his shoulder and untangling from the blonde’s hold. “Ooh, I hope it’s a deer again! I haven’t caught a deer in months, and while those tiny animals are great for sharing, I really… miss…”

Mikasa glanced up, eyebrows furrowing when Sasha and Jean paused on the stairs, looking back to her worriedly. “Sasha?” She stood up. The brunette bit her lip, holding her hand up as if to stop her, but ultimately let it drop to her side. “What’s wrong?”

Sasha shook her head, turning back to the water. Mikasa heard Armin murmur a curse beside her, standing up as well. She held Carla close to her chest, imagining the MP’s at their doorstep, an angry civilian, everything other than the figure standing hunched by the edge of the water, their hands shoved deep in their pockets and head bowed against the slight breeze.

She blinked, mouth falling open because it _couldn’t_ … Armin reached to her, pulling Carla from her arms and gripping tight to her shoulder. “Mikasa-”

She didn’t hear the rest of what he had to say, and rushing away from her chair, Mikasa darted down the steps, stopping halfway down the beach as he neared, raising his head and offering a nervous smile when he reached her, rubbing his neck awkwardly

Eren spoke first. “Hi, Mikasa.”

“Hi…?” Mikasa repeated, the word feeling bitter on the tip of her tongue. Everything she’d felt during the time he’d been gone, everything she wanted to say and ask came rushing to her and she faltered, legs feeling like lead because he was there, he stood in front of her and it was all she’d wished for months.

He took a few steps to her, reaching slowly and she mimicked him, heart in her throat and a thousand words dancing through her mind.

Mikasa waited until he was close enough almost to touch. “You asshole!” She yelled, pounding her fist against his chest. He didn’t look surprised. “You left me… after you promised!” She felt tears begin to fall, scorching down her cheeks as she punched at his shoulder blade. If she hurt him, he didn’t complain, but a wince slipped from his mouth when she struck both hands against his stomach, beating her way back up his chest.

She latched both hands onto his collar, tugging him closer as she cried against his collarbone. Eren wrapped his arms around her shoulders, supporting her as she tried a few more feeble hits. “You left,” she sobbed, a hiccup ripping from her. “You said forever.” Her legs gave out, and he helped her to knees on the sand, holding her close while she shook. “You broke your promise.”

“I know,” he whispered against her hair. “Mikasa-“ His fingers dug into her skin as he held her even tighter. She choked on a sob, feeling his tears soak into her tresses. “ _Fuck_ \- I’m so sorry.” He lathered his apologies across her head, kissing her hair and temples, the tip of her ear, whispering again and again, “I’m sorry… oh god, I’m so sorry,” against her skin.

Eren pulled back, resting his forehead against hers. “Mikasa,” he pleaded. She ran her hands from his collar up his neck to cup his cheeks, brushing away his tears. Opening her eyes, she found she couldn’t be mad at him, couldn’t find her strength to be angry when all she’d wanted for so long was to see him again, be with him again, and _oh_ had she missed him.

“Eren,” Mikasa whimpered, voice hoarse and clouded, “I missed you.” She kissed him slowly, pulling his face as close as possible and putting everything she couldn’t say into the gesture. He responded eagerly, dropping his hands to the small of her back and holding tight, nearly pushing her back into the sand, nipping her lips until she broke the kiss with one well-aimed punch to his chest. He yelped.

“You’re still an asshole.”

“Yeah,” Eren agreed, dipping his head to kiss her again. “Yeah, I know.” She tightened her fingers in his hair, pulling him as close as possible to her and reveling in his heartbeat, slowly matching her own from the proximity, the rise and fall of his chest, his musky scent and everything that was so inexplicably _Eren_ it made her chest ache.

An arm wrapped around her neck, a familiar body half-colliding with hers. Mikasa blinked up to see Sasha fall into their embrace, knocking her head against Eren’s. “You idiot,” she laughed, no malice behind her words. “Welcome back.”

“Thanks, Sash,” Eren said, ruffling her hair gently. He took their hands, hoisting them both off of the sand, threading his fingers with Mikasa’s and pulling her closer.

“Jaeger.” He looked up just as Jean aimed a hearty punch at his jaw, knuckles colliding messily with the skin below Eren’s ear. Eren grunted, spitting and cupping his free hand over the abused skin, working the muscles. “Can you still heal?”

“Dunno,” Eren muttered, running his tongue over his teeth. “Guess we’ll find out, huh?” He offered his hand to Jean, who eyed it warily before taking it, holding tight enough to bruise.

Mikasa dropped Eren’s hand, well aware of his eyes following her back as she rushed to meet Armin a small ways away from the group. He murmured something she couldn’t catch, placing Carla in her arms. The girl glanced up at her, eyes wide and wet; her bottom lip quivering. Mikasa cradled her head against her shoulder, rubbing a soothing pattern to her back.

“Armin!”

“Eren,” Mikasa heard the blonde chuckle quietly. “It’s been quite a while.”

“I know.” Eren said quietly. “Are you gonna hit me, too?”

Mikasa turned around, watching Armin close the space to his best friend. “Nah, not this time.” He pulled the brunette in for a long hug, both men saying things she couldn’t hear before pulling back, Armin leading him to where Mikasa stood as Jean and Sasha headed to the forest.

Carla tugged on her hair and she remembered it was about dinnertime. “Eren,” Mikasa called. He looked up to meet her gaze, stopping dead in his tracks, eyes widening and throat working hard to swallow.

“Mikasa…?”

He jogged the last few meters to her, glancing between her and the child in her arms. Mikasa smiled softly, turning Carla to face him. She stared up at Eren, blinking slowly before hiding her face in Mikasa’s neck. “Eren, this is Carla.” She placed the child into Eren’s arms, watching his face change from confusion to apprehension and fear and then, understanding. “Carla Jaeger.”

“You were…?” He whispered, adjusting his hold on her slightly. “Holy shit.” Carla reached for his hair, longer than it had been before he left, twirling a strand around her fingers and letting out a high-pitched shriek. “Holy shit,” Eren repeated, staring at Mikasa worriedly, “I don’t think-”

“It’s okay,” Mikasa said, placing her hand on Carla’s back and helping Eren fit her against his chest. Carla started to laugh, tugging on Eren’s hair and thumping her tiny fist against his cheek. “I think she likes you.”

“She,” Eren paused, a slow smile lighting his features. “She has my eyes.”

“And your stubborn personality.”

Eren laughed, Carla echoing a second later before she burrowed her nose against the tan skin of his neck. He supported her carefully, taking Mikasa’s hand with his own. “I had no idea,” he whispered, looking down. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know!”

She smoothed his hair away from his face, ducking her head. “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not!” He paused, taking a deep breath and letting his gaze linger on Carla. “You were pregnant,” Eren breathed. “You were pregnant, and I-”

“You had your reasons,” Mikasa squeezed his hand.

Eren looked distraught, glancing between Carla and Mikasa as if they would disappear if he blinked for too long. She knew the conversation wasn’t over, she had things she needed to ask him about after all, but Sasha and Jean returned to the beach, talking animatedly with a few neatly strung rabbits hanging from their arms.

Carla began to wiggle in Eren’s arms, leaning away from his chest and reaching out towards Mikasa. “I don’t- shit did I do something?”

“No,” Mikasa assured him, hooking her arms under Carla’s to lift her and readjust the child in her arms. “She’s just hungry.”

“Hey, Eren, help us out over here.” Jean called from around the small fire Armin must have lit a few moments ago, sitting between Armin and Sasha, and untying the ropes from the rabbits.

“Okay,” Eren said. He pressed a hesitant kiss to Carla’s temple before snaking his hand into Mikasa’s dark hair, pressing his lips to her forehead for a long, long moment. He sighed against her skin, and Mikasa swore she heard another, “I’m sorry,” but it was too quick to be sure.

She sat on her abandoned chair, focusing on feeding Carla and not on her friends, roasting the dinner around the fire. After a short while, when all the food was done, they all joined Mikasa on the porch. Eren sat himself between her legs, resting his head against her knee, her dinner on a plate in one of his hands.

They didn’t speak for a while; choosing instead to let Sasha and Armin supply the conversation until Carla was finished and Mikasa chose to sit herself right next to Eren.

Eren carefully took Carla from her, handing Mikasa her food and cradling the young girl to her chest.

Mikasa quickly threw a towel over Eren’s shoulder, explaining that she would need to burp and he nodded, following her instructions to prop the young girl against his shoulder. Once Mikasa finished, she pushed her plate aside as Eren settled Carla in his lap, trailing his fingers down the girl’s cheek, over her ear and across her belly much like Mikasa had the day she was born.

“She’s so beautiful.” Eren whispered, still staring at the young girl in awe.

Mikasa leaned her head against his shoulder, taking his free hand. “She really is,” Mikasa agreed. “Eren,” she said after a moment. “Where did you go?”

Eren sighed, squeezing his eyes shut. “I traveled, mostly,” he answered, his hand stilling against Carla’s stomach. Carla took the opportunity to grasp Eren’s fingers, pulling them to her shoulder and nuzzling them. Eren smiled sadly, opening his eyes and meeting Mikasa’s gaze. “I meant what I said before… before I left. But I went back to the mountains, kind of wandered for a while. Never really stayed long in one place.”

“Oh.”

“I really am sorry, Mikasa.” He said desperately, looking away. “When I went to see Hanji that day, I hadn’t planned on leaving. I don’t-”

She kissed his neck gently. “I know, Eren. You don’t have to apologize.”

Eren looked back to Carla, mouth twisting in what Mikasa could only call agony before he turned to kiss her again, resting his forehead against Mikasa’s. He didn’t say anything else, only held tight to Mikasa’s hand as the parents watched the young girl fall asleep slowly in Eren’s lap while their friends talked quietly around them.

* * *

“-really okay?”

“I don’t know, Eren. I’ve been watching her for the last year and a half, and she seemed…” There was a pause accompanied by a long sigh. “I really don’t know. She tried to be strong for us, and especially for Carla, but she was hurting. I can’t count the number of nights I heard her crying across the hall.”

“Fuck…”

Mikasa sat up slowly, the covers pooling in her lap as she rubbed hastily at her eyes. She must have fallen asleep shortly after her conversation with Eren. A quick glance confirmed Carla in her crib, her Dancing Titan doll perched on her shoulder and thumb stuck in her mouth. That was new.

“I’m an idiot.”

Mikasa blinked, stepping from the bed quietly and moving to the window. Eren and Armin were leaning against the railing below her, facing the ocean, shoulders hunched and barely touching, the embers of the fire casting their shadows onto the wood.

“You really, really are.” Armin glanced at his friend.

Mikasa saw Eren’s shoulders tense. “The baby…?”

“She found out the day you left, the day she went to visit the walls and see a medic.”

“Oh god.” Eren dipped his head, one fist pounding against the railing. “I was going to go with her, did you know that?” Armin shook his head. “I was going to skip meeting with Hanji, but she told me to go. She was so convinced it was just food poisoning.”

“Would that have changed anything?” Armin asked quietly.

“I don’t,” Eren combed his fingers through his hair, exhaling harshly and tugging a few strands. “I don’t know.”

“She had to tell everyone the baby was mine.” Armin said.

“What?”

“She was threatened by a couple of MPs who said they would fight for the baby’s execution if she were a shifter,” Armin explained. “She told them she was mine, but Historia and Ymir made an announcement that Carla was yours and not a threat.”

Eren chewed at his lip. “Is Carla a shifter?”

“She has the blood, yes. But like you and Ymir, she doesn’t have the resources to shift.” Eren sighed in what she assumed was relief. “Mikasa didn’t have me sign the birth certificate.”

“ _Oh._ ”

Armin paused, turning to face his friend fully. “I know Jean hinted at this at dinner, and I know Mikasa’s probably the first person you want to tell this to, but why did you leave?”

Eren pushed away from the railing, fists curling at his side before he breathed out slowly, swinging his arms at his sides. “I couldn’t do it.”

“Domesticity?”

“No,” Eren said, glancing back to the water.

“You wanted to keep traveling?”

“No-”

“Didn’t want to stay with Mikasa and us?”

“No-!”

“Then why did you leave her?” Armin’s voice hadn’t gotten any louder, but even Mikasa felt chills line her arms.

“She deserves better!” Eren cried, throwing his hands to his head. “You all do.”

“What are you talking about?”

Eren gestured around him, frowning and looking as if he wanted to be anywhere than under the scrutiny of his best friend. “Me. This. What we’ve gone through. You all deserve better than to keep an ex-military tool around.”

“You’re not a tool,” Mikasa whispered from her perch at the window at the same time Armin said, “You’re not a tool anymore.”

“You remember what Levi said, right?” Eren asked after a long moment. “What he always reminded me of?”

“Eren-”

“I was only good to the Survey Corps, to humanity, because of my ability. Without it, I would have died early on. I wouldn’t have been able to do shit.”

“He said that when you first joined! Before anyone knew-”

“It doesn’t matter when he said it, Armin,” Eren said, sighing heavily. “I know Levi’s opinion on me changed eventually, a lot of people’s did, but it was still true.” He laughed bitterly, kicking his toe at the wood of the porch. “Without my ability, I would have died in Trost.”

“That’s why you left.” Armin said knowingly, leaning back against the railing.

“Huh?”

“Even after all this time, you still consider yourself a tool for the military, as if you were hardly a soldier, hardly a person.” Armin shook his head. “And once you got your freedom, the ability to live normally without a scheduled agenda and crisis to keep working against, you panicked… you thought you didn’t deserve a normal life.”

Eren looked pained, glancing up at the window just as Mikasa moved. She looked back towards Carla, waiting for only a second before peeking back outside.

“Armin-”

“You thought you fulfilled your purpose and there was nothing left you could do.” Eren sank down, sitting against the railing with his head in his hands. Armin kneeled down next to him. “Eren…”

“Yes, okay? You’re right. You’re always right,” Eren said, pushing Armin’s face out of close proximity. “Without my ability, what do I even have to offer you guys?”

“Titan shifter or not, Eren, we still love you. Look at everything you’ve done, how many people you’ve saved and the world you helped to create. What do you have to offer?” Armin scoffed, nudging Eren’s shoulder. “How about being my best friend? Being Mikasa’s boyfriend? How about helping Sasha to cook dinner and mock Jean as he paints? What about being a dad?” Eren stiffened, shoving his hands into his hair.

“I’ve hurt you guys a lot-”

“We’ve all hurt people,” Armin said softly. “It’s what we needed to do. You thought just because you said some things or hurt some people you didn’t deserve to live normally?”

Eren sighed, throwing his head back against the wood. “You deserve someone who didn’t hurt you.”

“No, Eren, we deserve our best friend.”

Eren grumbled something under his breath. “Well, Mikasa definitely deserves someone who doesn’t hurt her for years and disappear the moment she gets pregnant.”

“Eren,” Armin snorted, standing and offering a hand to his friend. “If Mikasa was going to leave you for someone better, she would have done it ten years ago.” Eren took his outstretched hand, muttering something that sounded like, “asshole,” and shoving Armin’s shoulder lightly. Armin grinned, but a second later his expression fell. “Eren.” Mikasa frowned. She knew that tone.

“Hm?”

“She’ll take you back, you know she always will. But you need to tell her exactly what you told me, maybe even more.” Armin took his friend’s shoulder, squeezing gently. “She needs to know.”

“I know,” Eren said. “I’ll tell her everything.”

Armin nodded, pulling Eren into a hug before walking down the steps. “Hey, Eren?”

“Yeah?” Eren called back from where he stood in the doorway, just out of Mikasa’s sight.

“It’s good to have you back.”

Eren laughed quietly. “It’s really good to be back. Traveling fucking sucks without the people you love. G’night.”

Mikasa took one last look at Carla’s sleeping form as she slipped back into her bed, pulling the covers to her shoulders. She heard Eren step into the room, the mattress sinking under his weight as he sat, and a long sigh escaping his lips before a couple thuds echoing the room as he dumped his shoes onto the floor.

“I know you’re awake.” Mikasa rolled over to face him smiling softly over at Carla’s crib. “I’ve known you for more than ten years, Mika, I can tell when you’re out,” Eren explained. He ran a hand through his hair, shuffling back as Mikasa sat up, moving to his side. “How much did you hear?”

“Almost all of it,” Mikasa admitted, grasping his hand. “You’re not a tool.”

“Not anymore.”

“Eren-”

He pulled her against him, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and holding her close. She fisted a hand in his t-shirt, shocked to feel Eren heaving against her. “I’m sorry, Mikasa.” He gasped, “I’m so sorry I left. I got it in my head somehow that you would be so much better off without me. I’m sorry,” he repeated, a mantra against her hair as he shook.

Mikasa pulled back slightly, running her thumb under his eyes to clear his tears before cupping his face. “Eren,” she began slowly. “Without you, I would have been nothing. You saved my life, gave me a reason to live, and I’ve been in love with you since we were children. Just because you’re no longer a shifter, no longer part of the military, doesn’t mean I don’t need you, don’t want you.” She paused, swallowing hard. “I need you, Eren.” He glanced back to Carla, gaze hardening. “We need-”

“You were pregnant with our _child_ and I left you-!”

“Stop,” Mikasa whispered harshly, pulling his forehead against hers. He stared, wide-eyed and trembling against her, as if he were searching for something. “Stop,” quieter that time. “I don’t care about any of that, Eren. It’s over and you’re back. What happened before doesn’t matter.”

Eren sighed heavily, hands dropping to grip her waist before he relaxed, nodding slowly. “I can’t take back what I’ve done, but I swear to you, Mikasa. I won’t hurt you again. I’ve made that mistake too many times before.” He kissed her face gently, trailing his lips over her nose, her eyelids, forehead and cheeks. “I swear.”

“I know,” Mikasa said, brushing her fingers into his hair. “I know.”

“Armin was right,” Eren laughed quietly. “You are way too good for me.” Mikasa only hummed, smiling at the look of indignation Eren shot her way.

She kissed his forehead gently. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” He moved to kiss her fully, but Mikasa covered his mouth with her palm after a loud cry echoed through the room.

Normally she would groan in exasperation at being woken up in the middle of the night, but now she had someone to share that experience with. “But you’re on diaper duty for a while.”

Eren licked at her palm, grinning as she cried out and wiped her hand on the back of his shirt. “Anything for you,” he said, standing up and heading to Carla’s side. She rolled herself back into the bed, watching as Eren leaned over the edge of the crib. “Hey there, little one,” he said. He lifted her into his arms, awkwardly checking her diaper and frowning. Carla stopped crying, blinking up at her dad, confused.

Eren held her close to his chest, poking a finger into her stomach and smiling widely as she shrieked in delight. “I know I haven’t been around,” he paused, curling his hand over Carla’s. “But I’m not leaving you again, okay? I’m going to be the best damn dad you could ever have.”

“Language, Eren.”

He kissed Carla’s nose. “I promise.” After a brief moment, Carla began to cry again, exhaustion winning over her tiny frame. Eren glanced between her and Mikasa, looking terrified. “Mikasa-”

“Just bring her over here,” Mikasa said. “She might be hungry.” Eren nodded, hesitating for a second to grab Carla’s Rogue Titan doll, raising an eyebrow as he settled next to her on the bed. “Gifts from Ymir,” she explained around a yawn. “Carla especially loves the Dancing Titan.”

“I’m hurt.” He moved to transfer the young girl into Mikasa’s arms, but her fingers, hooked into the collar of his shirt, stopped him. Instead, he lay next to Mikasa, placing Carla gently onto the bed. She gurgled happily, grasping onto Mikasa’s hand. “I guess she just wanted to be near her incredible mom.”

Mikasa could feel her cheeks heat up as she kissed the top of Carla’s head. “Maybe she just wanted to be close to her dad.”

Eren leaned over, letting his lips linger on Mikasa’s temple before pulling back and draping his arm over her waist, covering Carla’s tiny belly. “You know,” he whispered after a moment. She looked up questioningly. “Carla has your nose.”

She nudged her leg between his. “Go to sleep, Eren.” He said something she didn’t catch, smoothing his fingers down her shoulder as Carla squirmed between them, settling more comfortably between the couple.

Mikasa didn’t think there was a better place she could be.

* * *

Eren emerged on the beach moments after Mikasa sent him inside to retrieve Carla’s favorite toy. She’d been especially fussy that afternoon, writhing and whining no matter whose arms she was placed in, and Mikasa had hoped her doll could help.

“Eren,” she groaned, shooting him a glare. “You brought the wrong one.”

“I’m her dad!” Eren complained loudly, dropping to the sand behind Mikasa. “My Titan should be her favorite doll.”

Armin jogged back from the water, shaking his head as he joined them, Sasha trailing behind him. “You’re being ridiculous, Eren.” He reached over for the young girl, taking her into his arms and shaking out his sopping hair over her. Carla squealed, laughing loudly and calming down for the first time since she’d woken. She pulled at Armin’s wet hair, shrieking again as he winced. “Just like your dad.”

“Hey!”

Mikasa leaned back against Eren’s chest, linking their fingers together above the sand as Eren settled his chin against her head. Jean plopped down next to Armin, first kissing the blonde’s cheek and then Carla’s before waving the letter in his hand.

“Hanji wrote,” he said, folding and unfolding the letter slowly.

“And?” Sasha prompted, pausing in the middle of her sand drawing.

“They say a few more soldiers are getting relocated out here, and also that Historia and Ymir are just about ready to get everyone out of the walls and into new homes,” Jean said, briefly glancing back towards the letter.

Eren squeezed her hand. “That’s great! It’s what we fought for, after all!”

Armin quickly took the letter from Jean, holding it just out of Carla’s reach as he read. “It also says Historia and Ymir are thinking about moving out here. They think it’s a great place to raise a family.” He gazed briefly at Mikasa, where she sat against Eren.

Eren laughed. “Well it is.”

“Are they expecting?” Sasha asked.

Armin tossed the letter into the center of their group, grinning. “Ymir wrote that they adopted a couple of kids, some friends for Carla so she won’t have to spend all of her time with her dad.”

“ _Seriously_?”

Jean smirked, throwing an arm behind Armin. “I guess now that this is actually happening, that humanity is finally moving out of the walls, it seems almost unreal. Historia and Ymir managed to prepare the remainder of humanity for living outside the walls, we defeated the Titans…” He laughed quietly. “I always thought you were crazy for dreaming of this, Eren.”

“It seemed so far away,” Eren agreed.

“It’s a new world,” Mikasa said, reaching to take her daughter from Armin. She was nearly asleep, the Rogue doll clutched to her chest and thumb stuck crookedly in her mouth. “A new life.” Sasha threw her legs over Jean’s and Armin’s laps, leaning back in the sand with one of the biggest smiles Mikasa had ever seen.

Eren wrapped his arm around Mikasa’s shoulder, briefly brushing his finger through Carla’s dark hair before kissing the crown of Mikasa’s head.

“And it’s so beautiful.”


End file.
